When You are Angry at God

I did not realize how much I was dreading the end of summer.  For those of you who do not follow my Instagram or Facebook, please know that I spent my summer living my best life.  My daughter and I swam, did paddle boats with swans, and pretended to be tourists in this great city of New Orleans.  My family relaxed at the beach.  I made lists, and I checked off every item of my 20 Activities for Summer Fun in the Sun. If life were a meme, this one was me (with a few more clothes of course). Source

I went from

Walking into the school building, I immediately downgraded to a combination of the “mourner” teacher and the “veteran” teacher. (Source)

I went from

I went from

I donned myself in uninterrupted black, vowed not to drag anyone into my negativity, and dragged myself to school bright and early.  It was all I could do not to burst into tears at the thought of months of overwhelmed days with not enough time.

My co-workers anticipated a bright and bubbly Brittany and were met with her somber, not happy to be here but I promised God I would not complain, replacement.

To make matters worse, I got zero sleep the night before.  At 2AM, I lay in bed wide awake with no hope of solace.  After an hour of no relief, mindless scrolling through social media and binge watching Real Housewives, I finally began whispering a prayer.

I asked that God please allow me to go to sleep as I had to wake-up early the next day.  I asked if He would please cut to the chase and let me get out whatever prayer He needed for whoever needed it because I could really use some rest.

His answer shocked me.

“Brittany you are still mad at me.”

Stunned.  I said nothing.

He continued, “You are mad about your sister. You are mad because you are lost with how to raise her son.  You think you are going to mess him up for life, but most of all you are mad because I asked you teach.  You love the kids, but teaching and coaching and momming and wifing and blogging are all too much… Because you are going into year 9, and you have never been able to avoid overwhelmed.  Yet, I refuse to let you walk away.  You say yes because you learned that delayed obedience is disobedience, but you are still mad because it is too much.”

He was right so I let Him speak uninterrupted.  I was absolutely angry at God.  Every word He spoke was truth.  I could not see how this year would be any less overwhelming than any other year.

He went on.  “You are mad because you know exactly why you were chosen.  You are mad because you know you are the best person for the job, and you are mad because you would prefer to walk away.  You are mad because every time you pray, things go from bad to worse so you would rather just grin and bear it…because you do not have the capacity for worse.   You are mad because 30 is not the new 20, and you are furious that I will not step in and fix it…because you know that I can fix it.

…because you know if I can talk to water then I can talk to this situation.

“The fact that the situation has not changed means that I have chosen to not change it, and you do not appreciate it.  Not.  One.  Bit.  You are mad because you feel selfish for asking me to change it because you understand.  You completely understand.  If you were me, you would have made the same decisions.  You have found your purpose, and you are living your purpose.  You just wish I would have found someone else for the job, and you feel ungrateful about all of it because it all comes together so beautifully…

“…But it is so hard.  It is so exhausting, and you do not know if you can do it again… not even for the children… not even for yourself.  You are angry because you feel like you are not enough, but you are wrong.  You are absolutely, positively enough because I am enough.

“I am living in you.  I am alive in you…even when you are angry.  You carry me with you wherever you go.  You were hand selected.  You have fought some tough battles, and you are tired of fighting.  You would just like to sit some out, but My Spirit keeps asking you to keep going.  My Spirit keeps telling you that the world needs what you have to offer.  People are looking for you to bring My Spirit.

“I know you are trying to sleep but I needed you to hear me without interruption.  You will be fine.  You will be fine, and you are enough.  I will give you everything you need to handle each day.  I just need you to keep coming to me.  Come every day.  Stop trying to fix it all, do it all, and be it all.  You are trying to prepare.  You think that maybe you are overwhelmed because you did not prepare well.  Maybe if you had been a little more organized.  Preparing is not your problem.  Organization is not your problem.  You tried it your way.  Now try it My way.

“Focus on today only.  Come to me, and I will give you exactly what you need for today.  I AM.  Not I was.  Not I will be.  I AM.  I operate in present tense.  You are worried about the future because of the past, but I AM what you need right now.

“And any time you get lost, I will remind you because I AM with you always.”

“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20)

***

For anyone who is angry at God, He already knows.  You may as well tell Him.  Tell Him every day.  Tell Him all the time.  It does not change Him.  It changes you.  He can change anger.  He can heal, and He can fix.  HE IS  ________________________.  You decide what goes in the blank.

You tried it your way.  Now try it His way.

****

“And God said unto Moses, I Am That I Am.” (Exodus 3:14)

What do you do when you are angry at God?

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If you liked this piece, please feel free to share with your friends and family.  Also, check out my other pieces on trusting God and finding balance.

  1. How to Avoid Burnout – Learn to Rest NOT Quit
  2. How Working Moms Achieve Work-Life Balance
  3. Why I Stopped Praying Big

When You’re Angry at God | ordinarilyextraordinarymom #angryatGod #trustGod #motherhood #christianmom #christianparenting #inspiration #motivation

52 thoughts on “When You are Angry at God

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  1. I loved this post! Bless you for being open and honest! God can handle our anger at Him, and sometimes we just have to be honest!! I have recently felt angry at God, too. Both of my daughters have been going through things and it made me mad at God. I wanted Him to give it to me because I can handle it, and thought it was unfair they had to deal with things. I had to realize that God loves them even more than I do, and God is preparing them for the work He has set before them. It’s necessary for them to endure things. It’s still hard though, and I’d still love a “season of ease”! I’ll be praying for you this school year! 💕Bless you!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Crystal! As you can see, I tried to keep up with everything – the blog, the comments, life…yet, here we are. And I’m surviving bit by bit. We feel like when His vision doesn’t match ours that He’s gotten it wrong and needs to fix it to how we would like, but that’s not always best…no matter how hard it is to swallow…just talking to myself over here.

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      1. I’ve kinda put my blog on the back burner and what I felt God calling me to do. When the passion was so strong in the beginning but then wanes it makes me doubt He asked me to do it in the first place. And yes, I question His vision. It was great hearing from you!! Keep persevering, sweet friend!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. There is a healing that takes place when we take our raw and honest feelings to God, laying it all out at His feet. There is a bond that takes place because we feel His presence in this very real and honest place which breeds a longing for more of the realness that we can have with Him. I love how you shared this glimpse of a moment that you had with the Lord. It is something that we all need to be encouraged to do.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is so good, Brittany! This argument is the one I have had with God so many times! But, like you said of him: “Focus on today only. Come to me, and I will give you exactly what you need for today. I AM. Not I was. Not I will be. I AM.” Yes! Me, too! Thank you for your honest recounting of your night-time conversation. By the grace of God alone, YOU CAN DO THIS IN HIS STRENGTH!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Great post, my friend. The Lord can handle all our emotions, He already knows, right? When we talk to Him, He helps us to change the thoughts which in turn will change the emotions. Have a fabulous and myth Lord bless you

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  5. Ouch. What truth. Yes, Brittany he did call you – to tell it like it is and be raw and honest. I heard a sermon a couple of weeks ago about God being I am – that he provides just enough for today and no more, no less. Sometimes it feels like we need some more, that’s for sure! Remember you can only do it in his strength. Remember it so you can remind me later because I never can seem to remember it.

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  6. Thanks for sharing this “conversation,” Brittany! We all feel angry at God sometimes. But I love how this was written– “You are angry because you feel like you are not enough, but you are wrong. You are absolutely, positively enough because I am enough.
    I am living in you. I am alive in you…even when you are angry. You carry me with you wherever you go. You were hand selected.” Wow! So touching and powerful to remember that God is alive in us even when we are angry (or whatever negative emotion).

    Liked by 1 person

  7. “You tried it your way. Now try it My way.” Yup, I think that pretty much sums it up! (does God do mic drops? Compassionately of course 🙂 ) Wowza, thank you for sharing. As always, I needed to hear this 🙂 God Bless!

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  8. Wow!! Good stuff lady!! Love the real and raw because it helps us see we’re not alone…we all struggle with something and when we get open and honest we can see how much we can help one another and pray for one another—giving our concerns and cries to the only One who can fix the mess…most importantly is that we listen to God’s answers so we can move forward❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This was a great honest open reflection of what we in the faith go through and don’t acknowledge or hadn’t realized. Thank you for your transparency.

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  10. The tears Britt! Just all the tears! This was beautifully written and I have been putting off reading this for some time. Now I know exactly why. God was using you to speak to me but He needed me in a place where my total focus would be here. Thank you for this!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Brittany this was deep. I hope to only gain half as much insight as you by listening closely to our Heavenly Father.

    Xoxo Melody!

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  12. This is so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes! I have become so angry at God, and I feel so bad about it! I turned 51 in May, am working a full time job and working most Saturdays, raising my 18 month old grandson by myself, my children are on drugs or alcohol and on top of everything else I have been battling scabies for about 7 months! My skin is very sensitive and every single movement is horrible! I’ve been to the ER, to other doctors, ordered several things online, and spent a small fortune on bug sprays and whatnot. I work from 4 pm to 12:30 am. Usually lay down by 3 or 4 am, and they keep me awake till daybreak and then when I finally get to a restful sleep, the baby wakes up. I’m so tired from the constant battle, I am absolutely exhausted! I’ve asked God to please help me find a way to get better, but it feels like He doesn’t care! The only time I’m at peace is when I’m asleep for about 4 to 5 hours a day. My little granddaughter visited and I’ve had them ever since! Now, I’m trying medicinal turpentine and it’s not working either. The baby doesn’t appear to have them and for that, I am grateful, but they give me a beat down. I have become so angry that I feel like I am heavily opressed, like it will never end! It’s even worse at work and I have to work! I’m not asking for God to take it away on His own, but show me what I need to do to help myself! I know He can, and is capable of all things! I’ve seen many of His miracles! I can’t keep spending my much needed money on things like this I have a little boy who needs me! It’s turning me into a bitter mess! 😢

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    1. God hears you. He heard it all as you recounted it to me, and He even acknowledges your anger. Keep giving it to Him. Day in and day out. Every single day. If He doesn’t change the situation, He will change you. Ask, and you will receive. I am praying with you and for you!

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