When No One is Watching

Who are you when no one is watching | Inspiration | Motivation | Self-Talk

I cannot silence the noise.  Deadlines are staring me in the face.  Upstairs is a mess.  The laundry is in piles – one clean and one dirty.  My kids want to play.  I want to relax.  The blog needs attention.

Even when I am “resting,” my mind is racing.  I cannot silence the noise.

When I am all by myself, when it is just me and my thoughts, when no one is watching, I cannot get my mind to SHUT-UP!

When no one is watching, when I only have to concern myself with me, I cannot turn down the volume.


Since I cannot silences the noise, or get my mind to SHUT-UP, or turn down the volume, I make a conscious decision to carefully craft the words I say to myself.  I look on my night stand and there is one of my few book purchases.

She is successful. She is smart. She is ambitious. She is powerful. She is bold.

“She is creative.  She is beautiful.  She is evolving.  She is unstoppable.  She is accepted.”  The list goes on.  I begin to replace the “she” with “I” and add in my own.

I am enough.  I am joy.  I am peaceful.  I am graceful…I am light.  I am love.

As I speak this life into myself, I begin to calm down.


The problem so many have today is that we immerse ourselves in social media.  We immerse ourselves in our careers.  We immerse ourselves in our brands and our blogs, in our husbands, children, and families.  We immerse ourselves in our students and our athletes.

But when no one is watching, when the lights go off, we cannot get our minds to do the same.  There is something we should be doing, somewhere we should be going, someone we should be meeting.  We create physical and mental to-dos.  Thus, we turn on televisions, music, and phones to blot out the noise our minds refuse to stop making.  We run from who we are when no one is watching because we feel “she” is not “remarkable…or loving…or a trailblazer…or a game-changer..or kind…”

We would rather not look at her right now.  We would rather not address her right now.  We do not have time for her right now.  All she will do is remind us of who we are not, and we do not need that reminder so we drown her out any way we can.  We are not all that sure we like the “her” in the mirror.

We beat her up. We tear her down.  We become our own worst enemy when no one is watching.

Or maybe it is just me.


So today as I wake up with a full 6 hours of sleep and already completely exhausted, I decide to feed my thoughts different food.  I step over the laundry and look past the mess.  The deadline will still be there.  The kids will still be there.  My husband, family, students, and athletes will still be there, but who do I have to offer them??

I discover that who I have to offer is directly related to who I am when no one is watching, who I am when it is just me, who I am before the lights come on.

“[I] am important.  [I] am great.  [I] am capable. [I] am quality. [I] am inspirational.”

Now it is your turn.  Who are you when no one is watching?


What do you tell yourself when no one is watching?

Comment below or connect with me: FacebookInstagramPinterest, Snapchat: mrsbonnaffons.

Leave your email so that I can send inspirational self talk strategies straight to your inbox.

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.


If you would like your own copy of the “She Is” Daily Power Words, click on the following link.  You may also follow the author, Karissa Littlejohn, at She Flies Solo on Facebook and Instagram to interact with her on her inspirational journey.

Who are you when no one is watching? | Inspirational | Motivational | Positive Self-Talk

56 thoughts on “When No One is Watching

Add yours

  1. When I was 19 and working my first job, my supervisor gave me some very valuable advice about the work that had to be done. She said if we didn’t get done that day, don’t worry about it; it will still be there tomorrow. I took her words at face value, and I still operate that way on anything that is not a fixed deadline by a boss.
    When no one is watching, my mind is either analyzing problems, fretting about the problem, or remembering to talk to God about the problem. Sometimes I realize that God has allowed the problem because He wants me to write about it. Then, once I get it all written, I feel like I can let it go.
    I do have insecurities now and then, but they are usually a fear of rejection, not the desire to be someone else. I just want to be loved for who I am. The Lord reminds me that He does love me that way, even if others do not.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Yes. I love His quiet reminders. It’s the deadlines and feeling unprepared if the work doesn’t get done or exhausted if it does because of the hours I put in that concern me, but I know, like you said, that sometimes I need to let the work go, and let God take care of the rest without beating myself up the whole time.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I read somewhere once that God gives us the strength each day to do everything He wants us to do. Sometimes, if we’re honest with ourselves, we really haven’t run everything by Him and have planned too much to do without asking for His wisdom for the day.

        Liked by 3 people

  2. I want to be the same person when others are watching that I am when no one is watching. I want to show God’s love and light at all times. Although I may fail at times, there is always the next moment to pick myself up, dust my dirt off and start again. 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  3. I loved this…and I used to be pretty damn amazing…even when I was a single Mom to 3 teens and working full time..but now in my 60s I’m not feeling so amazing…I’m trying to find my amazing again…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am so exhsusted right now, I can’t put words together to respond adequately. I am keeping this in my inbox so I can return to it because I so need to listen to and hear what you are saying in this post. Thank you for this. What you are saying here is so important.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Hello Brittany its me and you already know quite a lot about me. I have gone through all the things that goes with family: husbands, kids, laundry ect. Actually I am unable to tell exactly, what I tell myself when no one is watching. Sure if I am upset I try to do things like what you do, to lift myself up. But the main thing I do, be it happy, sad, angry or what ever mood I get into, I look up to God and pray. Praying is my way of asking for guidance/help and what ever that goes on with my life. I know you are aware of many thing, be done. Will it be a little less stressful, if you cut down on some of the extra things you can do later in life and keep to minimum as possible. Organizing goes a long way in bringing peace to the mind. I may be wrong as I am not aware exactly what your situation is. This is my thoughts. As always I will keep you in my prayers and wish you all the best in your life. May God Bless you ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes. I work as hard as I can go cut out all of the things that must be done to the bare minimum. It’s tough for me to cut when deadlines are staring me in the face and I have growing children, a marriage, and sanity to protect in order to sustain my peace BUT PRAYER. Prayer does allow for peace. Thanks so much for that gentle reminder.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. I have been pondering about this thought since the beginning of this year . Who am I when no one is watching . Well I know for sure God is watching me .

    I love this “ I discover that who I have to offer is directly related to who I am when no one is watching, who I am when it is just me, who I am before the lights come on.“

    Liked by 1 person

  7. It’s not just you. And it isn’t just social media–although that’s a pretty big distraction. What do we have to offer them? A beautiful idea–because they will grow and move on. The mess will remain but they will make their own lives and have their own kids and their own distractions.

    Great post. God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Love your thoughts here. I have to remind myself that I truly don’t have anything to give if I’m not focused on God first!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Powerful post! And yes, I’m my own worst critic and enemy. Negative internal chatter can destroy my day, a moment, and my mood. Sometimes…most of the time, it’s my real enemy who taunts me with lies. I’m learning to replace the lies with truth about who I am in Christ. It’s not easy by any means. But I’m learning what to dwell on in my mind and what God says about me.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I have days like that to. But my goal now is to be the same person whether someone is watching or not. God is always watching so I want to be the same for hm all the time.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I can so relate! What’s helped me is something I learned 25 years ag0–to drop the ‘should’s’ from my speech. As soon as I ‘should’ myself, I enter into ‘not enough’ thinking. Instead I replace with a can, or just obliterate the thought completely. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I want to be the same person when no one is watching. I can totally relate to the scenario you painted, just like you, my mind is always on overdrive. I find having a journal to record my thoughts helps as well as being intentional in finding some time for some self-care and my relationship with God.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. I LOVE the journaling idea. Sometimes I just need to dump my brain, and I have found that dumping actually clears up a lot of space as it allows me to get out my true sentiments. Being intentional with my time is also wonderful as it ensures that my time with God is uninterrupted and allows me not to feel overwhelmed by tasks as they can be broken up into chunks. Excellent thoughts!


  13. Boy does that sound like the inside of my brain. Some days I can’t get it to turn off or shut up. I love the thought of ‘when the lights go out, who am I?’

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Often times I wonder, am I the same person others see that I see in the mirror? I have doubted this many times. Yet someone would walk up to me and pay me a compliment and I muse to myself “I want to be that person they see in me! I want to be that person ALL the time. Sadly, I’m not always BUT I want to be.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think that way when people see me in person after a while, or when they comment what a wonderful mother I am on Facebook. I laugh and say I am “A MOM” just trying to make it like everyone else. Finding the balance between constant play and me-time. Toeing the line between blog life, work life, and home life. Trying to stay in line with God’s will all the while. I think LOTS of us are that way Lureta.


  15. Dear Brittany!

    Those deadlines are dreadful, aren’t they?

    Someone ones told me that listening to that voice we hear when we’re alone can be the most powerful tool to know what we should do. After doing that for some years now, I’ll say, I agree.

    Many say we should try to control what we’re thinking. That’s the foundation of the law of attraction, positive thinking etc. Christianity is (as I see it) a different story. It’s a story about the impossibility to control our thoughts – when I first heard of that perspective, via the Protestant reformation lead by Martin Luther, I was scared because I’m scared when I’m not in control. Nevertheless, today I can say that I like the idea of not being in control of my thought.

    Maybe I’m insane 🙂

    Edna Davidsen

    Liked by 1 person

  16. What we tell ourselves is truly important!
    I’m teaching my teens and preteens about self esteem this summer…
    It’s something as a mom I commit to teaching my daughter about positive Godly confessions.
    Good to join you here today😁😁
    Hugs sister


  17. I need to be careful of what I feed my mind. Thanks for the reminder, and the encouragement that I am enough. I struggle with helping my daughter (she’s 15) to keep “right thoughts” about herself, and not get dragged down with social media, etc. The battle is so often in our minds, and how we view ourselves. Thanks again for the insight.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I am enough.  I am joy.  I am peaceful.  I am graceful…I am light.  I am love.

    As I speak this life into myself, I begin to calm down.


    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: