When No One is Watching

I cannot silence the noise.  Deadlines are staring me in the face.  Upstairs is a mess.  The laundry is in piles – one clean and one dirty.  My kids want to play.  I want to relax.  The blog needs attention.

Even when I am “resting,” my mind is racing.  I cannot silence the noise.

When I am all by myself, when it is just me and my thoughts, when no one is watching, I cannot get my mind to SHUT-UP!

When no one is watching, when I only have to concern myself with me, I cannot turn down the volume.

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Since I cannot silences the noise, or get my mind to SHUT-UP, or turn down the volume, I make a conscious decision to carefully craft the words I say to myself.  I look on my night stand and there is one of my few book purchases.

“She is creative.  She is beautiful.  She is evolving.  She is unstoppable.  She is accepted.”  The list goes on.  I begin to replace the “she” with “I” and add in my own.

I am enough.  I am joy.  I am peaceful.  I am graceful…I am light.  I am love.

As I speak this life into myself, I begin to calm down.

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The problem so many have today is that we immerse ourselves in social media.  We immerse ourselves in our careers.  We immerse ourselves in our brands and our blogs, in our husbands, children, and families.  We immerse ourselves in our students and our athletes.

But when no one is watching, when the lights go off, we cannot get our minds to do the same.  There is something we should be doing, somewhere we should be going, someone we should be meeting.  We create physical and mental to-dos.  Thus, we turn on televisions, music, and phones to blot out the noise our minds refuse to stop making.  We run from who we are when no one is watching because we feel “she” is not “remarkable…or loving…or a trailblazer…or a game-changer..or kind…”

We would rather not look at her right now.  We would rather not address her right now.  We do not have time for her right now.  All she will do is remind us of who we are not, and we do not need that reminder so we drown her out any way we can.  We are not all that sure we like the “her” in the mirror.

We beat her up. We tear her down.  We become our own worst enemy when no one is watching.

Or maybe it is just me.

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So today as I wake up with a full 6 hours of sleep and already completely exhausted, I decide to feed my thoughts different food.  I step over the laundry and look past the mess.  The deadline will still be there.  The kids will still be there.  My husband, family, students, and athletes will still be there, but who do I have to offer them??

I discover that who I have to offer is directly related to who I am when no one is watching, who I am when it is just me, who I am before the lights come on.

“[I] am important.  [I] am great.  [I] am capable. [I] am quality. [I] am inspirational.”

Now it is your turn.  Who are you when no one is watching?

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What do you tell yourself when no one is watching?

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If you would like your own copy of the “She Is” Daily Power Words, click on the following link.  You may also follow the author, Karissa Littlejohn, at She Flies Solo on Facebook and Instagram to interact with her on her inspirational journey.