Starting with the Mom in the Mirror

The day before Mardi Gras break, I received a phone call from my son’s school. The lady on the phone stated that the Pre-K students did not usually arrive at school early, that the parents usually came just in time for the parade.  She continued to ask whether I would be attending the parade because the students usually got out earlier than the already early 11AM dismissal with no childcare…the Friday before we would be out of school for a week…

…the Friday I took time off so I could drop off my child with his float at before care so the float would not be damaged in a ride that would have otherwise taken place with 5 children…because I had to be at work before “before care” opens…

…After a season where the flu had been worse than ever so I missed a day of work for my son.  I missed two days for my daughter.  My husband missed the same.

…After I missed a day to stay home because my children’s school closed when they were afraid that the devastating hurricane that hit Houston was coming our direction.  (My school was not closed.)

…After I missed a day when the thieves stole my car from my driveway.

…After I missed a day to go to court to get custody of my son…after I missed a day when my sister changed her mind…after I missed two days when I lost my sister to violence…after I took a day to go to Homecoming before knowing what life had in store.

Yet, here was the phone call, almost accusing me of not being a good mom, as though with all that life had going on, the least that I could do was find someone to watch my son parade…in his float, that I spent time making the night before…

As moms, we do the best we can to give our children everything they need, to give our families everything they need. We need to start taking a good hard look in the mirror and recognize that what we give is enough.

…for which my husband had to drive across town to borrow a wagon from his sister to use in the parade…for a float that I made for him last year…and my other son the year before…that I will do for my daughter next year…

…because contrary to popular belief, 4-year olds do not make Mardi Gras floats out of wagons.

***

I cannot remember the last time I vacuumed my floor.  I gave up on the laundry half way through yesterday.  It is currently 10:54 PM, and I need to go to sleep.  But God asked me to write so here I am.

I will get less than 6 hours of sleep tonight.  I never get more than 7 hours of sleep during the school week.  I am tired.  My husband cooks.  He gets the kids ready in the morning because I’m always running late…because I am trying not to drown…trying to get one more thing done before I am out the door.

I got to work after 6:55 eight times this year…mostly because I stopped at Starbucks to get a cup of coffee.  My guess is that I clocked in between 6:58 and 7:00AM. I know because my administrator stopped to talk to me about my excessive tardiness.  He asked if there was anything he could do.

I wanted to tell him he could come help make a float for the Mardi Gras parade or a train car out of a cardboard box for the Polar Express, check over homework, find the shoes for the three year old, fold a load of laundry to make sure we have uniform socks, pants, jumpers, and bloomers.  He could sweep my floors or wipe my counters, brush a set of teeth, break up an argument over toothpaste.  That way, maybe I could go to bed on time…still dreaming about the extra school work I had highly hoped I could get done at home.

Moms have the daunting task of raising children, holding together families, and taking care of households. All the whole, they must stay young and beautiful and carry smiles behind tears and tiredness. Many times, mothers beat themselves up for who they are not. We have got to start acknowledging that the mom in the mirror is amazing!

Maybe he could learn what products work on extra curly hair and style my daughter’s crown while she attempts to go back to sleep on his lap, look for the shoes and backpacks that managed to leave their designated spaces sometime after I intentionally placed them neatly so I would know where they were in the morning.  He could stop and pick up snacks on his way home because someone is snack buddy tomorrow.   Maybe he could come wake me up early so I had extra time to really get everything off my to-do list and make sure that I do not miss those 3 minutes…the three minutes I more than make up for when I  journey to my car at the back of a nearly empty parking lot at 5:00PM.

Or maybe…just maybe…he could call my son’s school, and tell her I was sorry,  but I had no days left to take off for her Mardi Gras parade.  I had already made provisions for someone to pick him up at 11.  I already stayed up making his float that will pale in comparison to those dern stay at home moms.

I see all the moms who can do everything, and I think...I should have them do some things for me.

But I just smiled.  I said I would do better.  I told myself, “You have just got to do better.”

***

When I took my hair out of my faux locs, I immediately fell in love.

Then I washed it, and I could not make it look that way again.  So I did it again…and again…and again…until I found something that worked.  I found a girl not the same but still beautiful to look at in the mirror.

Mothers must learn to love and accept the mom in the mirror.

I took a long look at myself.  I looked at the mom in the mirror.

I ignored Michael Jackson as he taunted me, “If you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself, and then make a change.”

I snarled at him.  I changed enough.  Now was not the time to talk about change.  Now was not the time to beat myself up for all the Mardi Gras parades I could not attend, floats and train cars that could not compare, work that never made it home, carpets that never saw vacuums, disappearing shoes, backpacks, keys, and rings.  Now was not the time to discuss later nights or earlier mornings.

Instead, I began a different conversation with myself.

LOOK.  JUST LOOK.  LOOK AT THE MOM IN THE MIRROR.

You are beautiful.

Your are amazing.

You are smart.

You are loving.

You are strong.

You are doing it.

You are doing it all.

What you will not do is focus on all the things you are not.  Now is not the time for that.  And when you forget it, when you began to think of all the things you are not, all the things you need to change, go back to the mirror and start over.

Start over with the mom in the mirror.

You are beautiful.  You are amazing.  You are smart.  You are loving.  You are strong.  You are kind.  You are phenomenal.  You are blessed.  You are a ray of sunshine.  You are a shining star.  You are a survivor.  You are a doing it.  You are doing it all.

You are mom, and the world needs you to be the mom you are…AS IS.

***

What are some things that you say to the mom in the mirror?

Comment below or connect with me on FacebookInstagramPinterest, or Snapchat: mrsbonnaffons.

Leave your e-mail below so you can receive Mom inspiration straight to your inbox:

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 663 other followers

Every mom needs to learn to love and accept the girl in the mirror for who she is.

Counting My Blessings

Salt & Light Facebook Linkup Graphic

 

Linked at Traffic Jam Weekend Linkup.

37 thoughts on “Starting with the Mom in the Mirror

Add yours

  1. I salute you dear friend. A mother’s job is never done but when you have a great spouse the support will help keep your sanity. I pray God continues to bless your family and gives you strength to persevere through all your storms.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. I’m severely Vitamin D deficient, but I find when I get back on track, taking it regularly and keeping my levels up, I feel so much better about everything. Mood improves. Memory improves. More energy. Less headaches. Less anxiety. And yes…to rest. Hugs, my Britza.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Yes! My goodness, I wish that every struggling mother could just take a few minutes to read this post! You are so real and raw that it’s almost as if I’m right there with you, fixing the hair and looking for the shoes and working on that float. I pray that God richly blesses you, multiplies those few hours of sleep and grants you the grace to jump all these hurdles with the grace and prowess of a gazelle! As a busy mom myself, I leave you with one thought that gets me through when absolutely nothing else with: with God, ALL things are possible!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. SO true. As moms, we have more than we can fit on our plate and a whole to-do list constantly running through our minds. So many things I can relate to even as a stay-at-home mom- the list is never ending and we have to remember we’re doing all we can. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Beautifully written, Brittany! We ALL need to look into the mirror each day and speak the truth of who we are in Christ. Your children will one day rise and call you BLESSED–you are a modern Proverbs 31 woman–worth more than rubies!

    Like

  5. I pray for all the moms out there whose work is never done, and sometimes goes unnoticed. I pray that you all will realize that the Lord is watching He notices all that you do and loves you unconditionally. Continue to realize that the Lord grace is always sufficient and His mercy is new every morning.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I love how real your writing is. A mom’s job is hard. It’s easy to focus in what we haven’t or couldn’t do, but oh how much better we are when we look at all that we have done and how beautiful we are. This is a real gem of a post!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. This is AMAZING!!! Wow! I adore you, and your beautiful honesty!!! Pinning and sharing!

    Visiting from the #TrafficJamWeekend Link party.

    I would love to have you link up at my link party Live Life Well: Encouragement for the Journey!

    Blessings,
    Amy

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: