Often in life, we find ourselves running in races we were never entered to run. We are competing for prizes we do not even really want to win simply because we get too consumed in wanting what “she” has. Yet, what “she” has is actually useless for us. She is not me. I am not her. She has beautiful blessings reserved for her. I have beautiful blessings reserved for me. We just have to take the time to see life for what it is. We have to stop fighting battles we were never meant to fight. We have to stop living in her shadow, and embrace our own sunshine. Cameron Ragas at theafroclub shows us how inner growth can indeed help us shine, or in her words, glow. This piece is for anyone who has ever found themselves stuck in the middle of routines and procedures and outside of the life they were meant to live:
“There are years that ask questions and years that answer”
I think I put too much magic in age. I always lingered on the fantasy that a certain age will bring something magical and graceful into my life. When I turned 15, I remember thinking, “This is it. I am officially not a child anymore.” Why I thought that – who really knows? I think I hoped that I had a marker to change and to become a better version of myself. ￼Granted when I was fifteen a better version of myself was a spending Saturdays in Forever 21 with my mom’s debit card, but it was better than my mom standing over me in Forever 21 convincing me not to buy a stupid graphic tee.
Now I spend my Saturdays buying flowers which is a switch I never saw coming.
But, growth is growth. It is not measured by an age or the people around me. Growth for me is being comfortable going places alone. It is not feeling ashamed for not being 100% dedicated to every aspect of my life
…Growth for you may be finally soaking in a bubble bath once a week.
I measured my growth by what people around me did for years. Up until a few months ago, I always thought I was a hundred miles behind my friends. I spent time trying to catch up in an imaginary race. During the time I spent trying to catch up, I lost sight of my own goals. What was at the finish line for me? What was I racing to? If I won, what was the prize?
I came up with nothing. For one of the first times in my life I did not have any real goals. I was in cycle of routines, organization, and making sure I was not panicking about my future. I got too comfortable running to nothing.
So recently I took a big risk and auditioned for the Vagina Monologues for no reason other than to prove to myself that I could.
Getting cast was not the goal. The goal was auditioning. I have never really acted, and I could speak in public, but to adopt another persona was not my forte. I wanted to prove that I was brave enough to step out of the imaginary race. The day I walked out of the office after auditioning and getting cast I felt this sense of rejuvenation. I was getting somewhere with my goals. A few months ago I would not have done anything like it because school and work were most important in my life. I realized, though, that if I keep staying safe and running after someone on their track I would never run my own race.
Once you reach that minor growth, inner glowing starts. When you feel happy, m you start to look happy. Glowing starts with accepting where you are in life. Once you accept it, you recognize that you have the strength, power, and ability to change. I, for example, accepted that I am not where I want to be when it comes to my writing, but that will change. Meditate on what you fear, and find the source of your fear. That is where growth starts.
It starts with reaching into those places that are sensitive and healing those places. You have to be comfortable and allow sensitive parts to come forward.
You ever hear people talk about relationships and they say you and your partner must want growth for it to work? Well your body and mind are in a relationship. When you want growth, you have to activate it all parts of your being. You have to open yourself and open places that hinder you from growing. Once you start to grow into the next phase of yourself the glowing come naturally. It comes like second nature and you do not realize your glow until you go into your next phases of growth.
When it is time for a change, you must be sure to change.
Change creates inner growth. Inner growth creates and inner glow. And when you glow from the inside, you have officially learned to love yourself.
What are some ways that you practice self love?
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Cameron is from Belle Chasse, Louisiana. She completed her associates degree from Nicholls State University In 2018 and is currently working towards her bachelors degree. She has been blogging at theafroclub since 2017. Find the original version of growing and glowing here, and while you are there, check out some of her other blog masterpieces.
Here are a few more pieces on loving yourself and inner growth: