My house was finally clean. The office space was finally cute. The schedule was finally clear. The pictures had finally #nailedit. I finally had a manageable to-do list. I was finally killing it with my devotion streak on my Bible app. Life finally matched the picture in my mind of how it was supposed to be.
Then I fooled around and mentioned to God that we could really use a little more money, told Him I would really like to make sure I was truly present with my children and my husband, asked if He could possible spare some time in His schedule to make my blog a booming success which then wraps us back around to request number one. I ended with the fact that I would really like to make sure that I am not screwing up my kids so whatever Word He needed to get to me, could He carve out some Him and me time so that I could really hear it?
Then, boom! Just like that, life is out of whack. I am grabbing broken pieces of my clean house and skeleton to-dos. My picture perfect is disintegrating right before my eyes. I am currently hanging on by a prayer because every other spare second is completely booked. I am trying to figure out exactly how less than two months ago my life was completely un-busy and I was at work, and now I am home and every second is scheduled. How do people do all these fun things with their children and their husband while simultaneously making cute, creative house spaces, building their blogs and social media presences, and staying completely in-tune with their carved out me-time and God-and-me time?
As it is, I have 20 minutes before my next scheduled meeting, a cake to pick up after that, a room to rearrange, a balloon to buy and blow up for a party I cannot afford but I just have for my son because he asks for very little…and he has had only one true birthday party ever…
To add insult to injury, I read this blog that basically says that what others think of you does not matter all that much. What do your children say about you? What does your husband say about you? Do they think you are a good person? Would they use the words nice or friendly to describe you?
So I go back to God and ask why He wants me to keep leading children…I teach children. I coach children. Then I come home and I raise children. As icing on the cake, He gives me an extra child completely different than anyone inside of my home with his own challenges … a perfect addition to the chaos that was once balance.
I revert to my, “God, I am not sure I’m the person for the job. I do not know if I can run a blog, and run a home, and run a classroom, and run a team, and run the finances. I thought I was okay, but I kinda feel like I am about to drown.”
His response, “You lack nothing. Use what I gave you.”
Then He directs me to 2 Kings 4. (You can read the long version here.). For the abbreviated version, it is a story of a widow who was about to lose all that she had for a debt that was not even hers. She approached Elisha, and He asked what she had.
What did she have?
Her first answer was, “nothing.” She had nothing at all.
BUT she continued “a small jar of olive oil.”
Elisha proceeded to tell her to go and borrow as many EMPTY jars as she could from her neighbors and bring them to her house. Once she had as many as she could find (he specified not just a few), she should pour oil into ALL OF THEM.
Long story short. She poured her little and it filled ALL THE JARS. Elisha then told her to sell enough oil to pay off her debts and live on the rest.
God comes back to me as I conclude the passage.
He ignores the list I rattled off about all the things I am not and asks, “What do you have? Are you going to look Me in the eye and tell Me that I did not give you any gifts…not even one…?”
I drop my head in embarrassment.
He continues. “I just need you to pour. I will fill the jars.”
So for all the moms on the wrong side of “getting it right,” remember you lack nothing. You were created for the task at hand. The task at hand is who you are. The task at hand is why you are here. Take your prayers and petitions to God.* Then take whatever little you have…and POUR.
*Click the link for a free printable
What are some things that God has been asking you to do, and you feel like you are not fit for the job?
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I wrote this blog as part of a quote challenge. This is my Quote Challenge Day 1.
The rules are pretty simple:
- Thank the person who nominates you
- Post one quote per day for 3 consecutive days
- Nominate three new bloggers each day
I would like to thank Chandra Lynn for nominating me. This will truly force me a little out of my once a week post comfort zone that God has wooing me out of over the last few months but I have politely ignored Him.
I’d like to nominate the following bloggers. Whether they accept or not, I believe each of them has an amazing format and people should definitely see it.