“I didn’t ask you to be her. I asked you to be you.” – God (Source)
Sometimes, we, as moms, feel like we are missing something. We feel like there is a piece of a puzzle somewhere that every other mom received, but somehow we missed the memo, and now we are coming up a little short of our own expectations of motherhood.
The reality is that we missed nothing. If we would just accept that “mommin’ ain’t easy” then life could go on as planned. We would save ourselves headache. We would save ourselves heartache. We would save ourselves self-lectures and self-loathing because mommin’ was never meant to be easy. No mom ever said that mommin’ was easy. Mommin’ ain’t easy.
It does not look like Instagram, Pinterest, and Facebook feeds. It does not look like perfect off guards. It is not foil balloons on birthdays and babies sleeping on books and in baskets. Those are just the highlights. I read a blog today by a blogger named Zoe that makes sure that mom’s know to savor EVERY moment (EVEN the difficult ones)! I read another one where a mom internalized what someone told her and let it eat away at her until she realized that sometimes a mom’s strength lies in letting go.
So today, choose to let go of the girl who has all the right answers, says all the right things, and is in all of the right places at all the right times. Choose to stop looking at her and what she does and how she would approach this. Choose to release the unrealistic expectations you have built for yourself. Choose to ignore the girl inside who sometimes screams so loudly you cannot hear yourself think. The biggest problem is not the her on your feed. It is not the her with the huge following. It is not the her without a hair out of place. It is not the her who always finds the perfect lighting and backdrop.
The biggest problem is the her who stares back at you in the mirror.
God never asked you to be her. He never asked you to be whoever it is you thought that life required for you to succeed…for you to “make it.”
The only her He ever asked you to be was already there before you ever looked in the mirror at her.
You do not need to be whatever “her” you have conjured in your mind. God narrowed down His word to two requirements. Love Him. And love others as you love yourself. No improvements necessary. (Matthew 22:39)

This is not to say that you cannot grow. This is not to say that God is not calling you for more at times. I am not speaking of His purpose for your life.
I am instead speaking of the expectations you got directly from her, whether the her is others…or the her is yourself.
You are a mom. I am a mom, and mommin’ ain’t easy. So if we could do ourselves a favor, and just be who we are. That would be great.
“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” (Jeremiah 29:11)
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What are some things that you do to keep yourself from trying to be her?
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People do not always realize that they are messengers. Chandra Lynn nominated me for this Quote Challenge not realizing that she was only asking me to do what God had already been asking me to do. She added that I do not have to write every day. I only have to post a quote and keep it moving, but that was never God’s parameters. She was sent to me to deliver a message. Message received. Day 2.
Here are the rules:
- Thank the person who nominates you
- Post one quote per day for 3 consecutive days
- Nominate three new bloggers each day
I’d like to nominate the following bloggers. Whether they accept or not, I believe each of them has an amazing format and people should definitely see it.
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Linked at Moments of Hope
Thank you for finding me so I could find you! I thoroughly enjoyed reading your words! You’ve got a gift!
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Thanks so much! Sorry for the late response. I’ve been out of town on business. Hope to get to know each other in this blogging world!!
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I just finished the Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study of “Why Her?” by Nicki Koziarz. A great book and study reminding us that we all have unique gifts from God. Our gift is not her gift and her gift is not our gift. We can all glorify God in our own ways. Great post today. 🙂
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I’m going to have to check that book out. I’ve been reading more. My goal is one book a month. (Baby steps)
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I always try to remember that any decision I make is the best one I can with the information that I have at that moment. When you look back you can see other paths but they were not visible at the time.
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It’s so crazy to me how we can look back and see how many options we couldn’t see before because we were so close, so deeply involved with our surroundings. You are correct. All we can do is the best we can with what we know.
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Love love loooove this post! Such a wonderful reminder to honor the woman God has called us to be and to rest in knowing that “she” is enough. Thank you for this!
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Thanks so much love 💕 I am constantly reminding myself of this when I’m pulled in so many directions. May we all be the women God has made us to be.
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They told us as teenagers while reading Shakespeare, “To thy own self be true”. It does take a lot of pressure off. Thanks for sharing, Brittany. Blessings to you.
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I like that Shakespeare quote. Truly an excellent example of who I am expected to be – me.
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That’s a neat challenge. Also, thanks for taking he encouragement- I know for sure mommying ain’t easy. Especially with three boys..but I know he’s got this under his control!
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Thanks! I have two boys and I’m still trying every day to figure out how to navigate motherhood. I figure it to God every sing day.
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Beautiful! I love the way you point out that it can be our own thoughts and expectations that pressure us. But you’re so right here! We need to love God first, and in turn we will be exactly who He created us to be!
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Thanks Emily! We are our greatest obstacle many times. But if we can stay hooked in to God, He’ll guide us every step of the way.
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Comparison is something easily slipped into, however God made us not to compare but to know each and everyone of us is uniquely made and valuable! Thanks for sharing that message to mom’s here. So important even more so in our digital ‘comparison’ world.
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Yes. I do a little too much comparing. I am trying to break out of that habit with A LOT of help from the Big Man.
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Love this message! God bless!
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Thanks so much Nancy.
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This is a beautiful post! Comparison is SO difficult when it comes to all the different roles women play. Thanks for this sweet message!
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Yes it is. We were meant to be individuals. Yet we still keep comparing our individuality. It doesn’t make sense, but it is what we do. Thanks for stopping by.
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What a beautiful reminder to be who God created me to be. I can remember being hired as a Children’s Minister at my previous church. The Pastor, the Graphic Artist and I went on a business trip to visit another church and their kid’s ministry. It was fabulous. Large. Amazing. We learned a bunch. But then I walked away feeling like I had to be that woman, our ministry had to be like theirs. Then God stopped me in my tracks and said, “I created you with your own unique passions, qualities, and I don’t want you or the ministry you lead to be anything more than what I made you and it to be. Learn from others, but always be true to who you are in Me.” Jesus gave me some great advice. Your post took me back to that day. Your truth applies to all roles we fill in life. Thank you!
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Oh yes! I feel the exact same way. It definitely pertains to so many areas of our lives. I ran a children’s ministry for years when my kids were babies, and it is a HUGE undertaking, but God knows what He is doing. He has plans for each of us individually.
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How I wish I’d had this kind of encouragement years ago. Love that you are using your wisdom in such an encouraging and relatable way!
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I really enjoyed reading this post. I need to remind myself that God created me as am because He needed me. Thanks
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This was a great reminder. Thank you for being relatable and encouraging!
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Thanks so much Alexa!! Thank you for stopping by today 💕
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Love, love, love this post! Mommin’ ain’t easy. And there is so much pressure to do it perfectly (whether from the world or from ourselves) that it becomes that much harder.
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There is SO MUCH PRESSURE to do if perfectly. (Yes I know I repeated what you just wrote.) I just couldn’t help it. I felt it S I read it. I have got to learn to give it to God and leave if there.
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“So today, choose to let go of the girl who has all the right answers, says all the right things, is in all of the right places at all the right times.” Amen, Brittany. This post resonated with me and will with many mommas. Thanks!
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Thanks Karen! Glad to know it’s not me letting go of the unrealistic expectations I place on myself.
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I loved this, Brittany! It’s about time I give myself permission to be her — the one God created me to be, and let go of all the unrealistic expectations that come from comparing myself with others. I’m a work in progress, that’s for sure and I’m so grateful that God is patient with me.
Thanks for the nomination by the way. I really appreciate your love and encouragement.
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Thanks Marva! We are all works in progress doing the best we can. And you are absolutely welcome of course.
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I’m not a mom, so not qualified to really comment here, but what you said about Facebook, Instagram, Pintrest…it’s all a facade, a big smoke and mirrors that makes things look so good and perfect but it is not that way. People still have problems. They get tired. They blow it with their kids, etc….
At the end of the day, if the house and pictures do look like that perfect sense of balance, peace, contentment and joy, then the people inside probably don’t look like that. We will get that perfect sense one day, but that is not until we cross life’s river and move into the mansion Jesus Himself has prepared. Those places will make some truthful spiritual media pics!!! Until then, wipe the noses, do your best and go to bed exhausted! That’s really real!! 🙂
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Yes being a mommy certainly isn’t easy. Babies do not come with guidance or a rules book. It is all about leaning through experience bringing them up from day one. I am now at the grand ma stage, so all that is past. Wishing you all the best, with bringing up your lot. Many Blessings of Love, Light and Healing Energies from me 🙂 ❤
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