Overcoming Fear When You Lack Faith

God said, “I did not put that child in your life so you could lose him.  I put him in your life because you were the only one who could save him.” ~ Sarah Jakes

God said,

I am currently battling fear – not past tense…presently.  It is an ongoing journey for me because one day life was fine, and then all of a sudden life was not fine.  All of a sudden, while I was busy being fine, life started dealing blows.  Everything happened so quickly.  I was not able to prepare myself, and now I am scared.

***

Over two years ago, I was talking to my sister on my commute home from work the way I always talk to my sister on my commute home from work.  In that conversation, I decided to take in a little boy who needed a home.  I secretly wanted my husband to doubt my decision, but God…

Within two weeks, I traveled home with a 4-year old little boy in my backseat who I had met maybe twice in my life.  During the same time frame in my life,  I taught toughest group of kids at the toughest grade level at work.  I went from mom of none to mom of three in less than 5 years.

I did not have time to adjust.  I did not have 9 months of carrying this child around.  I had no chance to get to know him.  Yet, here he was living in my house.  So now work was too much and home was too much.

***

A year later, they fixed work. I still taught the toughest kids but I had learned to love them.  Within a month of the new school year, the now five-year old boy went back to live with his mom, and I was back to living my dream. I thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated my new normal for a grand total of one month before the rug was ripped from underneath me.

My car was stolen from in front of my home not once but twice – the second time in broad daylight.  My sister was murdered, and her son was speedily returned to interrupt my new normal.  My mom’s mom died.  My dad’s mom died.  My dad’s best friend – my uncle – died.  My great aunt died, and now we had nowhere to go for Christmas.

I had one month of normal before a chain of events took place, and I lost all the people who hosted our holiday gatherings.

***

Needless to say,  fear is now a state of mind.  Overcoming fear is a goal, and I am making little to no progress.  My prayers come with stipulations.  My hopes come with stipulations.  My dreams come with stipulations.

I like where I am.  So if change is going to cost too much, I would prefer to be left alone.  Last time I was fine, my entire world turned upside down in days…in minutes…right in the middle of a normal phone call.  And again when I was at work teaching my students.  And again while I was in Orlando preparing myself to train others on how to implement math curriculum.  In an instant, everything was different…and different was not good.

My son is now 6, and it is obvious to me that one is not like the others.  He is not like my husband or myself, and every day I pray that I am the right fit because I do not have the option to send him to live with his parents anymore if things do not work.

I am scared that I am not enough for him.  Scared that I am not enough for my children.  Scared that I am not enough for my husband.  And I am scared to death to pray about it… because last time I prayed, really prayed from that dark area that no one likes to talk about, things got worse.

I have seen worse.  I have lived worse, and I do not have the strength for worse.

I am completely okay with this new normal.

Life has settled.  I love that 6 year old as much as my 4 year old and my 7 year old.  Now, if I could just be left alone, to take my cute photos and post them, to run my blog, my classroom, and my home, that would be great.

I am afraid to pray for the future.  I have put a box on what I will allow God to do because I am all out of energy.  My life is great just the way it is, and I tell that to God.  I prepare for Him to be angry, prepare for Him to snatch it all away because I have the nerve to try to tell Him how to do His job, prepare for Him to send in all these verses filled with promises of “all things coming together for good” and “plans for hope and future.”

Instead, He extends grace.  He tells me to keep talking.  He tells me to tell Him all about it.  He makes note of all my stipulations, and then He sends me a message through my sister.

God said, “I did not put that child in your life so you could lose him.  I put him in your life because you were the only one who could save him.” ~ Sarah Jakes

And He repeats in my ear, “You are the only one who could save him Brittany.  You are a perfect fit for him.  You are a perfect fit for your job.  You are a perfect fit for your husband, and your other children.  I am sorry that you are so scared, but you have to know it is okay to be scared as long as you bring you fear here.  I accept fear here.  I accept stipulations.  I accept parameters.  Bring it all here.  You are working so hard because the world has told you it is not okay to be afraid.  The world has told you to trust me.  The world has told you that the presence of fear is the absence of faith, but what they forgot to tell you is that you cannot fix yourself.  You have to bring it all here.

“And when it comes up again tomorrow.  Bring it again.  I will be here tomorrow.

Overcoming fear is not your job.    Overcoming fear is not our job.  Overcoming fear is MY job.”

***

What are some ways that you overcome fear?

Comment below or connect with me: FacebookInstagramPinterest, Snapchat: mrsbonnaffons.

Leave your email so that I can send stress reducing strategies straight to your inbox.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Needless to say,  fear is now a state of mind.  Overcoming fear is a goal, and I am making little to no progress.  My prayers come with stipulations.  My hopes come with stipulations.  My dreams come with stipulations.

Linked at Grace & Truth and #HeartEncouragement

48 thoughts on “Overcoming Fear When You Lack Faith

Add yours

  1. I love your writing style! ❤❤
    Another great testimony of God’s grace, of His patience and love for His children!
    You asked how we overcome fear; but I agree with You that He is the one who overcomes fear. So, lately I’ve been asking Him to shine His light in all the dark corners of my heart: the corners where I’m afraid to fail, and the pride that is sticking to that like sticky goo, the corners where I want to figure it out for myself and the insecurity I feel because that’s impossible, and so on. So, basically, I have to be still before the Lord and cooperate with His process of cleansing and try not to fight Him with complaining, impatience, and an unrealistic desire to be perfect in those areas. I thought I had gotten over my perfectionism, but God has been dredging up some stuff, old fears that have been holding me back for a long time. I thought I was free, but He wants me more free.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. To your question/invitation: I overcome fear with and through profound faith… belief… and trust, in Him. I also refuse to allow fear to overwhelm. I consciously banish it when it tries to penetrate my God given armor. And… I openly pray for, praise, and receive His grace. Ephesians 6:10-20 You, Brittany, are His strength!

    Liked by 2 people

  3. What an inspirational blog post. I truly commend you. I’m still working on overcoming fear and self doubt but growing stronger in faith and self belief each day.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yes. I’m not sure of anyone that really appreciates change when things are “fine.” Unfortunately, life does not agree. Most times, though, change is for the best. That, however, does not make tragic events, inexplicable horrors any easier to digest while living through them.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Such a good post! Thank you for sharing your heart. I went from being a mother of one, to being a mother of six in a matter of two months. It was absolute chaos, grief, and anxiety ridden at first. All those children came from toxic homes with no mother in sight. God used me in that and has for several years now. I’m so thankful you acknowledge that God is not there to condemn us for being afraid…rather He desires to help us overcome through Him. I have dealt with so much fear and anxiety the past few years, even to the point of feeling God was punishing me. The lies of the enemy can sound an awful lot like God if we don’t pray to discern it. I’ll be praying for you! Much love.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Thank you sharing your story, I loved this post. I overcome fear with meditating on John 14:27, every time I get anxious or concerned about something I meditate on that scripture. I pinned this post to share with our Living Our Priorities community.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Beautiful 🙂 And as someone else stated…I don’t overcome fear. I try, but it doesn’t work! And just like you, I try and give it over to God, day after day, sometimes minute after minute! And it’s usually the same fears. The devil likes to try and use our fears against us, doesn’t he? Whenever I start to feel the fear creeping in, I pray. Even if it’s a quick, small prayer. And it doesn’t always make the fear go away, but at least I handed it over to the only One who can do anything about it. God Bless and keep your chin up!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I get it. I’m struggling with fear too and we had a lot of loss one right after another last year. I’m afraid to hope for something good, knowing I could lose others soon. I have little advice other than I try to pray, read his word and listen to Pastor Jimmy Evans who I recently heard a sermon from about anxiety and worry and how to overcome it

    Liked by 3 people

    1. I am so sorry for all that you have had to endure. Prayer is definitely the answer even with all my fears. Just expressing them here and in prayer has given me such a sense of peace. Almost like I was bundling it up and God needed me to let it out. Now I just need to do that every time…

      Liked by 2 people

  8. For starters, I want to say you are exactly where you need to be with the children you are mean to raise. I commend you for being so open and so vulnerable. It’s so hard for many of us to admit this to ourselves let alone online. You are warrior and this is a war you will win by the blood of Jesus. I am praying your strength right now. I know how you feel because I was there, it reached the point where suicide became a viable option. I overcame simply somewhere along the way I got angry. I can’t say that faith was attached because it wasn’t. But I just got angry and I started asking questions to God. I literally asked Him, “Who are You?” and that night He showed me a piece (a crumb I would say) but I felt so powerful. I don’t know if that answers your question, but that’s how I got over fear.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think this post has helped me tremendously. I think I didn’t want to admit just how scared I had become, how much I was questioning God and what He was doing because I had so many promises in my back pocket. A crumb is sometimes all we need. Just a little ray of hope from God goes a LONG way.

      Like

  9. God, please continue to hold Brittany near to Your bosom. Remind her that she is enough because You made her to be who she is in You. Remind her that Your strength is perfect in her weakness. Remind Brittany that being anxious is not where You want us. Calm the storms of life. Rain Your peace upon her and reign in her heart. Oh, God, You provide all she needs and all her family needs. You are our All in all. Thank You, Lord, for opening up pathways for Brittany and for loving her that she can love others, whether at home or in the classroom. I thank You, Father God, for being her Abba as You are mine. Oh, how wonderful! I pray in the Name of Jesus, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Wow, what a powerful post, Brittany! I’m sorry for all your losses. I’m glad you feel free to share your fears and to bring it all to God. Nothing is too hard for Him. We can’t fix things ourselves, but we can talk to Him about it. He can take anything we throw at Him. He understands that we are weak, yet loves us anyway. He is the One who can help us through our fears. Blessings to you! I’m a neighbor at #Grace&Truth.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Gayl. I don’t think I ever considered before that fear is something I needed to take to Him. I’ve always been convinced that fear is a lack of faith in Him so how could I come to Him with it. But yes, you are right. Fear is included in “nothing is too hard for Him.”

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Thank you for your openness here. The truth is that, whether we like it or not, bad things happen and there is often reason to fear in this broken world. And yet . . . God does not abandon us in the brokenness, and He came to redeem it, so we have hope.

    Like

  12. Fear is a continual struggle for me, too. I remind myself often that “perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18)” and then pray that God would give me a greater understanding of His incredible love (Ephesians 3:14-19). When I believe in the depth of His love, why would I fear? So, when fear overwhelms me, I press in more to God’s Word, searching for treasures that remind me of Who He is. My eyes shift from my circumstances and my own weakness onto His greatness, goodness, comfort, and faithfulness.

    Like

  13. I remind myself that fear comes from Satan. He sows it, cultivates it, and would love for me to wallow in it. I have to purposefully remind myself that God does not want me to fear. Definitely takes a lot of work….

    Like

  14. When I am facing fear, all I can do is trust. Breath into the Lords promises. My go-to verse is Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths”. If you trust him, you have to trust him. I know that it’s easier said than done. I’ll pray for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Praying is definitely at the top of my list when I’m facing fears.

    What a tough year you had that year. God is with you and Christ in you is more than just you.

    Like

  16. Beautifully written! All my life I have struggled with fear. I refused to do certain things out of fear. I have come to realize that fear only hinders and holds you back.With 2Timothy 1:7 as my guide I have made it a mission regardless of my fear to step outside my comfort zone.

    Like

  17. I think so many of us feel this way on a regular basis and I love the fact that you were brave enough to share your story so that others could share theirs as well! Praying for peace for you1

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Create a website or blog at WordPress.com

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: