Unleashing the SUPER in Your NATURAL

I did it for my daughter.

I wore weave for years.  I felt beautiful with my long hair.  I lived and breathed by two statements:  “Big hair. Don’t care.”  Or, “Long hair.  Don’t care.”

"Going natural" was not an easy process for me. I lived and breathed by the motto, "long hair, don't care." I wore weave for years. I was not ready to be natural. I was not ready to transition. I was not ready for a natural hair journey.

Then, my daughter came.  She took my hair…all of it BOTH DURING AND AFTER pregnancy.  Even after the doctor pinpointed my relaxer as the root of my problem (after numerous tests and blood work I might add), I still considered sticking to my short, sassy, straight hair.”

It was only after my sister mentioned in passing that maybe it was meant for me to embrace my curls for that little girl that calls me mom that it all sank in.

Devastatedly, I put in my last set of weave because I could not be one of “those girls” who chopped it all off and started over.

I felt like weave made me prettier. Going natural was for other people - "those people." People embracing authenticity. People trying to send the world a message. I was not one of "those people." I just wanted to be pretty, and I did not associate natural hair as being pretty. I had no chance at finding the super in my natural.

I had seen their journeys, and they were not always pretty.  For anyone who has ever needed pretty, here are five things you need to know – five small truths that hold the key to unlocking the super in your natural.

1.  Understand that it is a process.  Everything in life is a process.  You do not wake up one day with all the answers.  You do it.  You learn something.  You mess it up.  You learn something.  You see something someone else does.  You like it.  You try it.  Sometimes it works.  Sometimes it does not.  You learn something.  I thought I could just grow my hair out under some weave, then take it out and voila!  Beautiful curls that I only had to learn to tame.

Imagine when the stylist told me, she would still have to chop most of it.  As I watched what was left of my “beautiful hair” fall to the ground, I started my process.  I accepted my journey for what it was…not always perfect…more like a constant work in progress.

2.  Ask the experts. I knew plenty of people who had hair I loved to admire, but few I trusted with my own hair or who lived close enough to guide me on said journey  – only one actually.  She was the wife of my cousin.  The Love of People was developed for those individuals who wanted to learn to love their hair through more holistic and natural means. tlp is an environmentally conscious company that uses natural and organic butters, oils, and herbs that help strengthen the hair with nutrients and vitamins while aiding hair growth.She was natural before being natural was a thing.  I sent her a text and asked who could style my 4C hair…I thought “C” stood for coarse.  I needed a miracle worker to pull out any hope of a curl in my pattern so I went straight to the top and picked the brain of Paula – founder/owner of the love of people.*  While you may not have a Paula, you do have an expert.  You have someone who understands your “process” and knows how to help you.  Find that person.  Use that person.  And then, once you unleash the super in your natural, BE that person.

3.  Accept the girl in the mirror.  You will not always believe she is pretty.  Some days you will want to return to your long weave and flat irons (and you can temporarily although I have not yet).  You will look, and you will wonder if this is it.  You will stare and stare and stare and play with the curls, try to rearrange the style, and then you will get stuck.  And you will have to accept that this is how you look.  Take it or leave it…Take it.

I felt like weave made me prettier. Going natural was for other people - "those people." People embracing authenticity. People trying to send the world a message. I was not one of "those people." I just wanted to be pretty, and I did not associate natural hair as being pretty. I had no chance at finding the super in my natural...until one day everything changed.

I remember the first few weeks of my new hair.  It was not a love at first sight situation.  One of my favorite co-workers approached me (after ranting praises for days) again to tell me how much she loved it.  She said she had finally figured it out – it being why she liked my hair so much.  She said out of all the hairstyles in all of the world, if she had to pick out hair for me, this was it.  This was the hair she would pick.  God makes no mistakes.  You will have days when you will LOVE your hair.  You will have mixed feelings about the entire journey, but the quicker you accept that the girl in the mirror is a reflection of who you are and who you were always meant to be, the sooner you find the super in your natural.

4.  Develop a routine that works for you.  Now the fun begins.  As much as I wold love to say that you have hours a day just to play in your hair we all know that is not the truth.  With a 6, 5, and 3-year old, my alarm clock is usually children in the morning on my off days.  During the work week, I operate on coffee and Coca-Cola because mornings are early and evenings are late so I needed a “go-to” routine.  What I do – the 10 million dollar question I am asked multiple times a day…

The love of people has an amazing natural hair care line for anyone embarking on a natural hair journey. Many beginning naturalista have no idea where to start managing their crazy curl hair. I provided my own natural hair care routine, but YouTube and Instagram are also full of advice on how to create the perfect patterns for curl novices.

  • Pick out a wash day.  Mine happens about every 4 to 5 days, but I can stretch it to one week.
  • On wash day
    • Co-Wash.
    • Leave-in conditioner.
    • Lock-in moisture with castor oil.
    • Single strand twist/shingle/clump my hair using a combination of a styling gel and the Love of People’s Whip It.
    • Use Bounce Back to wet hair while clumping. (My hair dries super fast without stying gel.)
    • When dry, apply Heaven Scent.
    • Use Bounce Back as a daily refresher, Whip It as needed for extra moisture and styling gel to redefine my curls up top as they are a little looser than the rest of my hair.

That’s my routine.  My hair takes less than 5 minutes on non-wash days.  No I do NOT do any item except for the last one daily.  I tend to stick with what I know so at month three, I have done little experimenting outside of a few side twists, and a front twist/pull back.  YouTube is my friend.  Make it yours.  I follow my hair crushes on Instagram.  You are going to get a lot of advice from a lot of people about which products work and which do not.  You will hate some.  You will fall in love with others.  The bottom line is always the same.  DO YOU!

5.  Process your praise.  Yesterday I was making a purchase at one of my favorite establishments.  Of course, I noticed and smiled at one of the newest cashiers.  She greeted me with the warmest smile in return.  I placed my order.  She took my card.  She said nothing.  I thought for a second that maybe she could not speak because the warmth of her smile did not indicate rudeness.  I mean she had not even given me the total.  She handed over my purchase, and I left her with one last smile from the soul.  Her response, “It’s beautiful.”  I was take aback from what seemed like an eternity of silence and confused, I responded in confusion, “What?”

“The hair.  The earrings…” as if she could not put it into words, she fumbled.  “All of it.  It’s all beautiful.”  I beamed, and I left, and for the rest of the day, I remembered that girl.  I processed her praise.

Embracing my natural curl pattern for what it is. I fell in love with this picture the moment I saw it. I finally saw the super in my natural. I finally saw what others kept telling me was beautiful. The entire natural hair journey is a process that we will not always love. Yet, our curls make us beautiful. Our curls are a part of who we are. Our curls are a part of our magic.

People will stop you just to compliment, just to tell you that you are beautiful.  They will love you.  They will see you as you are, not as you used to be, and they love it.  They will love ALL OF IT.  The key to the super in your natural is you.  Just you.  Plain and simple.  Your smile.  Your eyes.  Your hair.  Your personality.  Your inner being.  Your vibe.  It’s you.  You are the SUPER to your NATURAL.


How about you? What do you do to unleash the SUPER in your NATURAL?  How do you encourage others to do the same?

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25 thoughts on “Unleashing the SUPER in Your NATURAL

Add yours

  1. This is a wonderful story!! Being Puerto Rican, my hair can be a bit untamed- more like, pretty untamed all the time! But the same goes for everything else- tanning, contacts, etc. I used to do it all, now I just embrace the natural me that God created. He makes masterpieces in no need of alterations! And if I’m good enough for God, then I’m good enough for me!

    You’re gorgeous and your natural hair is beautiful!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Paula. I truly love the moisture and finish the Love of People gives. I’m trying to branch out to other styles. I’ve been youtubing but haven’t found anything I love to go to for protective styles or bantu knots or twist outs that really calls my name outside of getting my entire headed braided or faux locks.


  2. Hey luv! This is great advice. I wrote something similar a few years ago. The one thing I had to do is decide that I didn’t care what other people thought about my hair because what I wasn’t prepared for are looks and comments, good or bad. It is one of the first times that I had to learn to physically be me, unapologetically.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love your new hair style! I just cut my hair recently and I know that my daughters have loved my hair the most because it shorter like theirs. I never realized how having really long hair made them look differently at their own hair. Now they love their own length and curls a little more, and I’m learning to love mine more as well.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is beautiful! As a “white girl” with stick-straight super limp hair, I have always envied curls. But, even with my best efforts, my hair just won’t hold them very long. But, I’ve learned the same lesson. I’ve learned to embrace what I have because, as they always say, the grass is greener… But I’ve noticed that there is nothing more beautiful to me than someone embracing her natural self. Now I’m working on accepting my face. I’ve never been a big make-up user anyway, but, when I switched from glasses to contacts, everyone suddenly thought I looked tired… Unless I wore eyeliner and mascara. Then, I lived in the tropics for 3 years and the heat gave me mild rosácea, so I started wearing some light foundation. Then I ended up with some free eyeshadow and blush, and when I wore the blush, people thought I’d lost 10 pounds. So it started becoming a habit. But, I started getting wrinkles and noticed the eyeshadow made them more noticeable, so I tossed it. And I stopped wearing lipstick (not that I ever wore it much). Now I’m trying to cut out the eyeliner, foundation and blush, too. So far, no one has said anything, but I’ve only done it a few times. The real challenge, however, will be when the mascara comes off. My dark blonde lashes practically disappear. But that’s how God made me, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know the feeling. I only recently started washing my face with more than soap and water. (I’m literally on day 7!) I feel like I never get enough sleep compounded with the dark circles that are already a result of natural life. Yet, here we are. Trying to feel beautiful in the skin I’m in. May your journey to self-love be paved with beauty and acceptance..


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