My House is Not Beautiful Enough for Social Media

Messy homes are many times filled with life, love, and laughter.

My house is not beautiful enough for social media.  To take pictures, I usually have to have the children stand at certain angles or go to a certain room or stand next to a specific wall.  Sometimes I look at pictures that people take – not the ones with the beautiful kitchens or perfect floor plans.  I recognize those pictures are staged.  What I speak of here is the rest of the photos, when the focus is supposed to be your new haircut or cute outfit or shoes.  When I look at the background, there are no random socks on the floor,  or markers, or toys, or pencils, or empty cups, or half eaten plates of food…

My husband and I are considering moving, and all I can think of is the mile long list of things that need to happen before we can go anywhere – curtains that need to be replaced, walls repainted, sinks repaired, plumbing double checked, garage cleaned…not to mention the staging for potential buyers and the amount of daily meticulous cleaning that must happen to keep the house ready to show on any day at any time.  And then, even then, after all the attention to all of the meticulous details, my house will still never be beautiful enough for social media…not because it is not beautiful of its own accord.  I certainly love the place myself, but because decorating and staging are not my thing.  I can mimic, but I cannot see it.  I can stare at a blank canvas for hours, and hours later when I look, it will still be a blank canvas.

When I look at a room, I see only the people that occupy the space…the life, the love, the laughter.  I see warm smiles, hugs, and kisses.  People are my thing.  People who I accept as they are.  People who accept me as I am – my husband, my children, my family, my friends.  They get me.  And I get them.

I try my hardest to keep it that way.  It being acceptance.  It being a safe zone where everyone can be who they are without fear of judgement or ridicule.  Yet, in response, I need for others to accept me without reservation.  I need people to accept that I am doing the best I can.  Every day I give life all I have…every…day.

Every day I strive to give the students the teacher they need.  Every day I work to give my co-workers my piece of the puzzle.  Every day I aspire to give my children the mom they deserve, my husband the wife he will love through thick and thin, my friends the listening ear for shouts, or laughter, or tears.  Every day I document the process with pictures or posts or words.  Every day I make imperfect progress because progress is progress as two of my favorite bloggers pointed out.

Two sets of people pulled me through this school year – my coworkers and my husband.(Yes, I recognize my husband is not a “set” of people but dealing with me is a full-time job so he gets his own “set.”) One of my co-workers faxed my son’s permission slip the morning that I could not get out of class.  Another politely waited as I sent the e-mail that she needed to do her own job to the wrong person for the third time.  Still others asked me over and over what they could do to help…and meant it.  I still have not forgotten the words of a fellow teacher, as I made grand plans and vows for the upcoming school year in August to be a new-and-improved, better Brittany.  She probably does not even remember saying them, but I remember them as though she said them to me only moments ago, “I like the old Brittany.”  I remember typing them.

As for my husband, I cannot begin to scratch the surface of his support system.  He has watched me transition from full closets to 33 items (ish) for 3 months.  He has seen short straight hair, long straight hair, Whitney Houston hair, and short natural hair.  He has supported as I spent freely and equally supported me as I set us on a strict budget.

So as I admire all of the beautiful social media houses, and I try to create my own so that those beautiful people with those beautiful houses can accept me and my beautiful house, God shakes his head.  He redirects me to of all the beautiful people who already surround me.  He shakes my decluttered list in my face, reminds me that a beautiful social media house is not on there.  Then He smiles.  He tells me to love their ordinary because loving their ordinary makes me no less extraordinary.

***

What are your thoughts on appreciating both others and oneself?

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Perfection is an illusion. Everyone is just living the life they know how to live the best way they know how to live it.

38 thoughts on “My House is Not Beautiful Enough for Social Media

  1. OK, so all I’m thinking when I see this picture is how cool of a tee-pee those pool cues would make for that beautiful smiling boy! Find the joy in the picture, your house will be clean another day. YOU ARE A FANTASTIC PERSON, MOM,CO-WORKER,WIFE. A house is just a thing. A home is where you love. ❤ You & thank you for a wonderful and memorable year!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Shanna!! I love you to pieces. You know me and my day in and day out – the good, the bad, and the ugly. Thanks for those beautiful words. I’m going to miss you interacting with you daily but Im sure they will have us back together next year. Love you! Love you! Love you! 😘

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  2. I so understand!
    My house was built in 1905 with additions built on later. I think it gives the house character. When we bought the house, it was a fixer-upper, and we mostly only fixed what was not up to code, what was broken, or what was disgusting, like the carpet in the kitchen and bathroom. We didn’t upgrade other things, not because we couldn’t afford it, but because they were not our priorities.
    I feel the same about people being what my house is for. You said it so well!
    I totally understand being careful where I take pictures, because unfortunately it would be a distraction for some. But I usually don’t even see the worn spots myself. I have other things I’d rather be doing, like serving God by caring for the people He puts in my path each day.
    And decorating is not my thing either. I see pretty decorations in MY house as just another thing to dust. I have nothing against decorations in someone else’s house.
    God accepts you for who you are, and His acceptance is the one that matters most. People can be very fickle; basing our security on what people think is like building the structure of our life on a fault line with underlying quicksand.
    Hang in there, girl, and keep making progress in the things GOD shows you to do.
    “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.”
    “Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done” in our lives as it is in heaven.
    “You cannot serve God and mammon.”
    Blessings, dear Brittany. 💖

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Last year, we had to downsize and we moved out of the 3-story townhouse where we lived to a tiny, cramped apartment. Over a year, we’ve been getting back on our feet financially, but living in the apartment has been terribly uncomfortable with 3 kids running around. My apartment is definitely not nice enough for social media! But I guess that’s not even on my priority list right now. I know I’m doing the best I can as a parent, and that’s enough for me. So I’ll just stick to stock photos for the moment and maybe next year I can move into a better-looking place.

    -Fabi at Wonder Fabi

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I would LOVE to downsize in so many areas of my life. I can see how living in an apartment with three toddlers could definitely overwhelm all senses, but I applaud you for getting your finances in check. I’m reigning in all things financial as well. Our spending habits have been less than stellar around here, and we are probably going to spend the next year or so without many of the luxuries we use to enjoy in order to pay down this debt we’ve crawled into. Good luck on your journey!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. We had a bad year last year. Our family business had a huge drop in sales, and our budget really took a hit. We had to cut back on a lot of things, but this year things are looking up, so we might be moving into a larger place soon. Not too lavish, just a bit bigger. Good luck to you too!

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  4. I LOVE this! And I’m right here with you. I get down about it more often than I’d like to admit, but I’m learning to focus on what I do well even if it’s merely a lived-in-looking house full of love in all its messy forms. Your personality and your warm, gracious heart shine bright in your writing, and no matter how busy I am, I find myself coming back. Curated photos aren’t hard to find on the Internet; sincerity and depth are more difficult. Congrats on wrapping up the school year. Hope you have a little relaxation in store for summer. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much! Your kindness truly resonates with me At times, I feel like I give different versions of the same story over and over, but I feel called to write so I continue writing whatever is in the depths of the corners of the back of my mind and heart. I plan on lots of relaxation. I can see the light. Have a wonderful weekend!

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  5. Dear Brittany, reading this honest and transparent article made me glad!
    Not only are there many me too moments but the fact that you choose to focus on what’s really important and hang on to people who truly love and appreciate you the way you are.
    Much love, sister!
    God bless

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I really try not to follow too many of the staged accounts, because honestly it bums me out a bit too. I don’t want to feel like I have to keep up, I’m not the “keep up” type. I do however enjoy gaining inspiration from a few of the accounts, but I think it’s all about finding a balance.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I agree. I do not think they are all staged. I think some people are truly gifted in home decor. I do enjoy drawing some inspiration from their layouts and wall hanging, etc. I just have to remember that it’s not the reality for everyone. Most people have regular home filled with beautiful parts and not so beautiful parts. You are correct. Balance is everything.

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  7. That’s one of the challenges of social media, isn’t it? We can feel as if everyone else has it all together, just not us. Well Brittany, I’m glad you pointed out the more important things. It’s not about a picture perfect house, or even a picture perfect life. Our focus should be on our relationships and the way we love. We won’t love perfectly but thanks to God we can love, and forgive and keep giving our hearts.
    Blessings to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I think we would all love to have Architectural Digest abodes but that isn’t possible in reality. A home is meant to be lived in. At least that is my theory. Sometimes we have to deal with bigger picture items. I think it is more important to work on the internal housekeeping.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It can be so hard not to compare our lives, and houses, to others on social media. I like what you say when you mention that when you look at a room you see people, laughter, and memories. Those truly are the things that should fill a house. What will our children do with a bazillion photos of beautiful houses?

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Well life, houses does not have to be like show pieces that goes on the magazines. Houses are to be lived in and they are homes primarily. In my case I am a very neat person and I have to have my surroundings neat and tidy to feel comfortable. Even with kids I used to keep a tidy house. That doesn’t mean the kids didn’t play. They did they put toys all over, spilt their milk, drinks food all over when they were growing up. In life there is always things to do in a house with or without kids. Of course having young kids is extra work. For those who can survive with clutter as long as the house if clean that is all that matters. Wish you all the best with all what you have to do when moving house. Moving is one big thing I don’t like so much packing. Much Love 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks. I’m working on tidy. Still not sure about the move. The thought of moving is overwhelming. We haven’t really addressed it much outside of passing comments here and there. I never thought of out of place items and toy corners as clutter. I like that. Clean, but a little cluttered with beloved belongings of babies!!! Have a great day!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I SO love your transparency! I’ve always ‘secretly’ felt my home wasn’t nice enough for social media because I too have so many things in my background that I consider clutter. It feels good to know, (especially after ready some of the above replies), that I’m not alone in this area!

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