Moms Just Trying to Make It

As moms, we struggle to hold together a picture of perfection. In reality, we are all in this together, and coming together in motherhood helps us all.

I wanted to write about something else. I wanted to write about the progress of my newly acquired budget. And as I began to piece together how I would word my budgeting blog, God stopped me and shook His head so I moved on.

I then thought that I may write about progress and gratefulness. I wondered if people would care. I wondered if the topic was overdone. Again God shook His head. I sighed. We moved on.

I said what about my hair? Let’s talk about a phenomenon I did NOT see coming. About being true to who we are…And then I got stuck. I’ve said that. OVER and OVER and OVER.

Then I thought of Grams.  My mother-in-law came to help us with the house.  I did not know she was coming until she was already here.  I did not know she was coming until it was too late…

I thought of the day when she told me I kept taking Braden away. She asked me why I did not just go to the back and pump so they could spend time with the baby.  Five years later and I am still on edge.  When she walked in, my heart dropped.  I just knew she would frown at my sink full of dishes, un-mopped floors, and unkempt counter tops.  I hurried to pull as much of the house together as I could.  I wanted her to see that I am trying.  I wanted her to sense that I am doing the best that I can.  I wanted her to believe that I am good enough for her son.

As I resurfaced from toilet scrubbing duty, I sighed at the stack of debris she wiped from underneath the couch.  I sighed again as she used her hand to gather the crumbs on the table from dinner the night before.  Yet, I pulled myself together, and we went to the grocery store to buy Gatorade.  I talked to her about our new budget and couponing, how we are working to build up a savings.  Consequently, we had to wait to buy paper plates and paper towels until tomorrow.

She admitted she did not know how they did it back then.  They lived paycheck to pay check on a much smaller salary even accounting for inflation.  They had a family member who would always help out until they got paid.

I smiled and thought of all the times family bailed me out.  I paid for my wine and bread separately, and she said she could have paid.  I responded that I did not want her to have to pay for my wine.  Then we went home.  I shortly left back out to conquer my pre-planned errands and clear my mind of all the shortcomings I felt my mother-in-law passive aggressively highlighted.

As I recounted the days’ events to my sister, she asked, “would it have bothered you if mom did it?”  And before I could respond, she continued, “It would not have bothered you if mom did it…if she swept the mess from underneath the couches, wiped the crumbs from the table”…offered to pay for your groceries for the week.  “You think that she is judging you, but is she really?  Perhaps it is you judging yourself.  Maybe she’s like mom and just wants to help.”

It was then that I thought back to her story about that family member who made sure they had enough to make it – paycheck to paycheck, day to day.  I think now of how I would want my son’s wife to accept me – to accept my help.

In the end, we are all just mom’s trying to make it. We are trying to make the best lives for our children, offering unconditional love both to them and to the people they choose to love.

And God smiled and He said, “Yes. Let’s write about that…”

As moms, we struggle to hold together a picture of perfection. In reality, we are all in this together, and coming together in motherhood helps us all.

***

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22 thoughts on “Moms Just Trying to Make It

  1. Philippians 4:8 came to mind in reference to wrong thinking that snares us, often because of negative experiences with people in our past. But when I went to Bible Gateway and read almost the whole chapter, I thought you might want to do the same. I believe you will hear the voice of the Lord in your spirit as you read. 🙂
    The Lord bless you and smile on you, dear sister. May you rest in His arms close to His heart and only seek to please Him. xxoo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What a beautiful chapter! What beautiful reminders all the way through. My sister actually sent me a text shortly after you commented. Said the flow of the blog was strange. I intentionally left out some of my innermost thoughts so I would not unintentionally hurt the feelings of any family members including my husband. I’ve since changed the blog back to “my” original words (what God intended for me to say and not my own watered down version of it )… So for you to pick out that verse specifically speaks volumes. Thank you. Thanks so much!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. And By His Grace, Brittany, we will make it!
    I like your sister’s question and perspective over your racy thoughts. It is good to share deep thoughts sometimes with a good friend who would pull us back into shape.
    You are trying, mom to to mom, we know it can be hectic following up all the chores… ok?
    God Bless sister

    Liked by 1 person

  3. This is a wonderful commentary about the eternal conflict between generations. My father’s mother sold her house so that my parents could have the deposit money to pay for our home. She also moved into our home as part of the deal. As far as I know, she never offered to help fund our budget like your mother-in-law does. Pray for forgiveness about your feelings, talk to her about how you’re feeling, and see how much she loves you and her son and really “just wants to help.” Let her! Perhaps she just feels guilty about moving in with you and your family.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. She didn’t move in!! She just came by with her husband who was helping my husband fix some stuff around the house, but I do think we could use a heart to heart! I truly looking back think that much of what I see and what actually is are two different things.

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  4. God has blessed you much. A wise sister to offer insight into a touchy situation…yes, definitely a blessing. So glad you chose to listen to Holt Spirit. Your post has been a blessing to me!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Very nice post! Isn’t it amazing how easily we lay at the feet of others the things we feel about ourselves?

    Romans 12:3 tells us we shouldn’t think more highly of ourselves than we “ought”. That means there is a level at which we are to think of ourselves, and it isn’t dirt under the feet of others. God made you able to be a mother to your son in your way. God gave your mother in law life experiences you have not had so that she may be of help to you. We each have our place, and when we realize it and accept it, it’s a true blessing.

    Keep on keeping on!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Family relationships are so hard! I always thought “Why are there all these mother-in-law/daughter-in-law jokes? What’s people’s problem?” and then I got married. I love my MIL, but the reality is it is just HARD. I pray that God can be at work in both of you, giving grace and spreading love over everything. Thanks for writing about this!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, the relationships with families that we were not born into is certainly interesting. The whole marriage process is quite interesting. When merging two lifestyles no matter how similar or equally yoked, we always have a learning curve. Thanks for stopping by. Have a wonderful day!

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Wow. The intricacies of relationships God gives us. I am all too familiar with your story. I had never thought to poise this question to myself. Nope it would not. I also would not have my husband the night before my in-laws needed our shower because their well broke run to grab Commet had it been my own mother. Great write!! God is awesome!!

    Like

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