Capturing Calm in Chaos

Every once in a while, you find that you are the calm in chaos.

I teach the tough kids.

And for a while, I could not understand how in the world they would allow a person as spastic and unstructured as myself to reign over such an environment.  These students need structure and calm, and all the effort in the world on my end does little to add either.  I major in chaos, even knowing my desired results could go drastically awry.  I try activities with mixed results, and sometimes I wonder how any learning takes place with the amount of instructional time I spend in redirection.  Yet, here I am, second school, second set of people, same tough kids that get tougher over time as they pass their state standardized tests, and I wonder when in the world they learn the information in the mix of all the confusion I call a classroom.

Some of the most complicated cases are intentionally given to me.  Today I learned the reason…I capture calm in chaos.

And He said, “It is because you come to Me first.  So while you major in chaos and confusion, I major in calm.  Consequently, so do you because you choose Me.”

I spent the month of August writing scriptures that I “accidentally” came across in a blog right after I finished my recent devotion.  Every day, I highlighted and saved photos of scriptures about peace as they related so well to my search for balance.  About a week in, I recognized that the month of August was actually specifically dedicated to peace.  And He said, “You asked for balance so I gave you peace.  You did not understand at the time that I was answering your prayer.  You thought you just found a new blog, but what you really encountered was a gift from Me – calm in the midst of chaos.”

Yesterday, I watched my two-year old as we played with blocks.  We built large towers, and then we destroyed them to start over again.  We lined them up, and then we put them back in the box to line them up again.  In the middle of our activity, I realized that she is on to something.  Perhaps the focus is not the tower or the straight line.  Perhaps the victory is not in the end result.  Perhaps everything we need to enjoy our time together is in the process – the building process…the aligning process.  At first, I could not understand how she would take so much time to create this large structure only to tear it down.  Yet in 15 minutes, I understood that the experience is more fun than the final result could ever be.  Though the toppled building and scattered pieces looked like a mess, one glance at the two year-old and her dedication to producing masterpieces from the madness reminded me that perhaps I had it backwards.  My focus was incorrect.  I was focused on the chaos.  I should have been focused on the calm.

Capturing Calm in Chaos | Ordinarilyextraordinarymom

So how can you capture calm in chaos?

  1. Be yourself.  I could give you thousands of motivational quotes all about finding your uniqueness and sticking to it, but I will save you the dramatics.  My calm began the moment I accepted myself as is.  My students learn because every day, I give them 100%.  I extend more chances than they deserve, try to engage even when I know they are bored to tears, continue to reach out even after they have stopped listening.  I tell them I love them even as I write their referrals so they will know that this is not personal.  I expect excellence even from the toughest cases.  I fall on my face some days, completely drained, but everything I gave them was ALL ME.  Even better, the God in me.  And He reminds me, “Those students were not assigned to you, they were assigned to Me.  Just wake up in the morning.  Just be yourself.  I will take it from there.”  He can do the same for you.
  2. Redirect your focus.  Too many times we focus on the grande finale, but the production is not about the grande finale.  The production is all the takes before.  The grande finale is how you end, but the quality of a performance is all the scenes in between.  My children have got it right.  It is the adults who have their priorities out of whack.  My daughter knows the importance creating beauty one piece at a time.  My son understands when we play 5 little monkeys, that the objective of the game is not necessarily to get to 1 because once we are there, the game is over.  Therefore, before we get to 1 (at around 2 or 3), he quickly begins to remind me that the next round, we are going to play 10 little monkeys, or 12 little monkeys, or 20 little monkeys.  He does anything he can to keep the jumping going, to keep the experience going, to enjoy every second of one of his favorite made-up games.  The calm is not in being done.  The calm is the quality time full of moments you will forever remember.

Today was not an easy day.  I wrote 4 referrals and at least 5 lunch detentions.  I called parents of all parties involved with or without associated violations attached.  My children could not play with their toys at the football game because the holes were too big in the bleachers.  The game started 2 1/2 hours late.  My family lost their cool.  My students lost their cool.  My daughter cried for 20 straight minutes which was unfortunate for the poor, unsuspecting fans.  And I walked in the door at 11pm to a clean house, and a peaceful spirit.

And for the 45th time over the past year, I ask myself where in the world did this girl come from?  How on earth did I capture this calm?

And He said…

“You are the calm.”

The calm is in the process not the end result. We must become as children and learn to capturing calm comes from within.

What about you?  How do you capture calm?

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37 thoughts on “Capturing Calm in Chaos

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      1. I wouldn’t say there’s anything wrong with physically removing yourself from the situation. If that’s what it takes then so be it. Just remember to take deep breaths and keep things in perspective.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I always find nuggets of inspiration in your posts that pertain to my own life. Since I am no longer surrounded by constant negativity (I left my job in July) I am calmer. Little things no longer agitate me. My writing is my calm through the chaos. I am able to appreciate my family and many other things that I was overlooking because I was always angry or anxious. Thank you for this article!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Absolutely. I am glad you continue to support me. Thanks so much for that. I wanted to update you. I bought the book. Started reading it. Loved it. I started posting quotes from her on my page, and I e-mailed her site to see if I could get access to the downloads. She added me on Facebook!! So cool. I know. I am a big nerd. I love when I find out great authors are amazing people. Thanks so much for the suggestion.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wonderful post luv! This reminds me of the Buddhist/Japanese zen garden. If I’m not mistaken, they create and then destroy what they created. It’s a lesson in non-attachment. I’m certain this little one is teaching you many lessons that you’ve recounted here.


  3. It can be so hard to remain calm in tough situations with the boys. I’m working on it and slowly making progress. When we spend more time outside and doing the physical activities they seem to need to do, things are much better. Beng inside or being stuck more often thannot is really hard for them. With Fall and then Winter coming, I’m definitely needing to think about ways to keep them active or find places to go where they can burn some energy so we can all stay calm! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I completely understand. My son is younger and he ALWAYS wants to play. I went on a walk yesterday to see if I could gather some stuff to try out something I saw on Pinterest. An hour went by and he was completely entertained start to finish. I didn’t have to do any songs or dances or chase bad guys around the house. I was actually in awe!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s awesome. It’s interesting how our children just learn and do so much all.the.time! Right now, it’s early and both of mine are sleeping, so I’m in a bit of bliss, but I know once they rise all bets are off for anything else today! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  4. I once taught the tough kids, and when they were given to me, people laughed because it was, well, me. How in the world could I give them what they needed – I was a notorious hardass in class. But the kids and I meshed and where you have the calm, I gave the challenge they’d rarely been given because everyone had either coddled or avoided them. I did neither. Met them head on, and we both grew. So thank you for being you and giving everything to those kids.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s an uphill battle some days, but then I get sweet messages randomly in my inbox, and you realize something has gotten through. And making a difference to one student makes it all worthwhile. I’m quite the opposite. I’m the teacher of a million chances, trying to be tough at times but they know I care.

      Liked by 1 person

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