I have been questioned from single people and married people about why they should get or stay married. They wonder if it is worth all the hype. They wonder if it is worth the time and the effort. They wonder what marriage really brings to the table.
Up until about a month ago, I generally did not defend any position. I listened to what others had to say offering little insight of my own. It was not my business whether or not you decided to get or stay married. That was between you and whoever. It was none of my concern.
Then I realized that I have an obligation to speak for marriages that are working – not because we have it all together. Two flawed individuals cannot under any circumstances create a perfect marriage. I have met myself, and I wholeheartedly accept that living with and dealing with me is no easy feat.
So I decide to focus on him instead – the love of my life. If anyone can show what a good marriage looks like, what a good husband looks like, he is it. So here it is a list of 37 reason why I love him, 37 reason that may, just maybe, you should give marriage a fair shot.
1. He is my best friend.
I attend permanent sleepover with the person I love the most in the entire world. I tell him everything. He gets me. He knows me. He is my partner in crime for life.
2. He gets me.
I know I just said that, but it definitely needed to be addressed separately. Every person has layers, intricate details that come together to make a picture that does not make sense to everyone. Some people get to see a small part. He gets my layers. All of them.
3. He accepts me flaws and all.
I have never pretended that life with me is a walk in the park. While I will not delve into a long list of my shortcomings, just know that we all have shortcomings. We all have parts of ourselves that we prefer not to expose to the entire world. He accepts those parts. Good marriages need that. I need that.
4. He is an amazing father.
He chauffeurs to basketball games, soccer games, hair cuts and dance classes. He bathes. He gives hugs and kisses. He drops off and picks up from school during track season. He is the man I would love my children to grow up to be.
5. He loves his mama.
While some may hate a mama’s boy, I see no problem with it. If you look at the way a man treats his mom, you have a fair understanding of the way he will treat you. He thinks the world of her, and that says plenty about his character.
6. He is passionate about what he does.
After Hurricane Katrina , he allowed his students to live with him when they had nowhere to go. He spends hours on the phones with potential colleges, uploading film, and learning the sport of football. If ever there were a coach to work for, play for, or work with, he is it.
7. He cooks.
He keeps us from having cereal and sandwiches for dinner. He meal plans, and he grocery shops.
8. He is punctual.
One of us has to be on time. May as well be him.
9. He lives by the motto, “happy wife, happy life.”
10. He will give you his last.
11. He is beautiful.
On the outside and on the inside.
12. He is intelligent.
My mom in a nurse, and my dad is an engineer. Both of my sisters are successful entrepreneurs. I am hard to impress. Every day, he impresses me. He knows so much, and he does not brag about it. He just lives it.
13. He is fun.
If you have ever met me, you recognize that this point is non-negotiable.
14. He is thoughtful.
He gave me an antique stop watch with an inscription as a gift because I am a track coach. You cannot teach thoughtful. You either are or you are not.
15. He loves God.
I feel like that should have been earlier, but I take for granted that I have a husband who loves God. Good marriages require God at the center.
16. He prays with the children.
17. He teaches the kids to play______
Chess. Basketball. Baseball. Mario Kart. You name it.
18. He loves corny movies.
…And television shows. I hate them. I hate them all. I do not think any of them are funny. I roll my eyes in disgust from start to finish, but I love that he loves them.
19. He loves Superhero movies.
20. He wants to be just like his dad.
Anyone who has an admiration for the people that raised them is good with me. With all the broken homes and broken families, I can appreciate a man who strives to be just like his father.
21. He always has something uplifting to say.
He encourages. He is always positive. He builds up instead of tearing down.
22. He is an amazing teacher.
His students love him. His principal loves him. That speaks volumes.
I could elaborate on each point with example after example, but I am sure you get the general idea at this point.
I will complete the list because it is his birthday. 37 reasons I love him is part of my gift to him for his 37th birthday. He needs to know why I love him. The world needs to know why I love him, that good marriages exist, and this is what they look like.
22. He supports my dreams.
23. He builds me up.
24. He helps the kids with homework.
25. He helps me with housework.
26. He goes after what he wants.
27. He is voluntarily raising a black male in a world consumed with color.
28. He commits to me and only me FOR LIFE.
29. He makes me laugh.
30. He makes sure we eat dinner as a family.
31. He makes sure we go to church as a family.
32. He goes above and beyond what any job requires.
33. He is a great friend to others.
34. He loves me.
35. He is charming.
36. He sacrifices himself for the greater good.
37. He is “the one.”
Point blank. Period.
I am here as a voice for those who may have given up on the concept of a good marriage. I am here for those who think that marriage is only piece of paper unnecessary in this day and age. But most of all I am here to show the man I love the most how much I appreciate him.
Your list of non-negotiables will look different. What you need will look different. What works for you will look different. What is most important though, is that a good marriage consists of a husband and a wife that continue to find 37 reasons to love.
Happy Birthday my love!
What are some ways that you show the people you love that you care?
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