“I was broken…and I learned how to look fixed,” Will Smith said.
And it hit home. Here I am in the middle of my busy season. It is football, and teaching, and Halloween, and homework, and Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and momming. I am drowning … again, and I know how to swim but I cannot see the shore. Then here comes Will Smith reading my entire life in one, small statement.
My nerves are frazzled. Expectations at work are high. Expectations at home are high. My expectations for myself are high, and I try to stop but I cannot stop. If I stop, I will let everyone down. If I stop, I will let myself down.
At about this, time I begin to notice how far I have strayed on my journey to minimalism. I decide to find my way back. I decide to make decluttering my life a priority. I am shouldering too much extra. Some stuff has got to go, and I decide to document my list the way I document my life. Not because I have my life together but because I do not have my life together. I refuse to go on like this forever or even for one more day.
This list is for anyone who is at the end of a short fuse, for anyone searching to declutter your life from all the extra to make room for what really matters.
1. Declutter your physical space.
Take 15 minutes every day, or twice a day, or twice a week to start purging. Start giving things away. Give clothes away. Some call it a capsule wardrobe. Others call it their 33 items. Whatever you call it, let it go. The kids toys have to go. You do not need more toy boxes. You need less toys. Your bookshelves are full. You have no plans to read that book again. You have drawers full of make up and hair products. You have areas full of half finished projects. You have corners you have not seen in years. You have accumulated more thinking more was the answer when all you need is less.
2. Throw it away.
You are waiting to give away some things that just need to be thrown out. You have cribs, swings, maternity clothes, and car seats. You have dining room tables and chairs. You have bags that have been sitting for months…you have baggage that has been hanging around for years. You are holding on to some things that need to make a dramatic exit…some people that need to make a dramatic exit. These things are not worth your time, energy, or space. And neither are these people.
3. Know when to say no.
I always want to do everything and be everywhere for everyone, especially those who have been there for me. I want my kids to have everything they could ever want. I enjoy spending time with friends and family. But I cannot be what everyone needs and neither can you. You are going to have to miss some stuff. You are going to miss some parties, some games, some practices, and even some performances. Forgive yourself in advance, and keep it moving. Sometimes the best answer you can ever give is no.
4. Know when to say yes.
Sometimes you want to say no because the laundry needs to be done, the counters need to be wiped and the house is in complete disarray. Sometimes that stuff can wait. Sometimes you need to watch the puppet show the kids are performing. You need to be the teacher while they play school. They do not need a clean house. They need a mom who is not distracted by her to do list. Sometimes you need to do date night instead of dishes. You need a coffee date or a long phone call about nothing at all. You need mom’s night out, guilt-free, kid free shopping, and mommy time. Sometimes the best answer you can give is yes.
5. Love more.
People do not need you to be fixed. People need you to love them while you are broken, and they are broken. People need you to love them when your mask is off and their masks are off. You are struggling to declutter your life, when all people really need is your love.
If you are anything like me, you are just trying to hold it together. You are holding on to the knot that you tied when you got to the end of your rope. You are one step away from a snapping. Good luck to anyone on the other end of your pent up anger. Ahead of you, all you see is your season of busy. You see Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years. You see tournaments and recitals. You see month after the end of the money.
Your life needs a serious declutter. You are so obsessed with covering up that you are broken that you do not realize that you do not need to fix yourself. You only need to fix your focus. It is time for you to make that declutter happen. You need space to see with clarity the moments that matter the most.
***
What are some ways that you declutter your life in the busy season?
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Linked at Moments of Hope and Grace & Truth
Been advocating simplifying life for years. So glad you have found it productive and helpful. Good message!
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Thank you. My dad was the same way when I was growing up. I am just learning how to make life simpler. One day at a time. Thanks!
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Bless you for sharing these great reminders! Well written as always! 😊
I’ve started working on decluttering again, too, house, paperwork, emotions, spirit (bye bye negativity of all sorts). I’m still working on all of them. Daily progress, not instant success, is to be a source of rejoicing! High five! Keep up the good work! ❤
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Thank you so much Ruth. Daily progress is all that I really have to offer at this point. I am just over here trying to make it. I decluttered my room a bit today, and by decluttered I mean threw a whole bunch of stuff out in an internal rage and frustration. #babysteps
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Oh decluttering 🙂 I am learning to forgive myself when I don’t declutter as much as I wanted. I only have so many hours in the day. The kids and my husband are more important than my to-do list. 🙂 Thank you for the encouraging message. Also, the picture of you and your daughter is absolutely beautiful 🙂 God Bless!
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Mine are too on most days. It’s the balance. It is so hard for me to stare at mess and play with the children at the same time. Not the mess of the toys they are currently playing with, but the clothes they took off that morning or the toys from yesterday, or the shoes that drives me bananas. I try to enjoy the moment while not ignoring that they must have a system at the same time. Sigh. It is a cycle.
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Confirmation. I have been pondering all the stuff in my house. My adult children still have stuff in my house. YUK! My organized drawers and cabinets don’t look that way anymore. And that container of things that need a place is getting larger. I needed this gentle nudge today Sis. Thank you so much.
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Glad to be of service. I’m quite sure my house needs a HUGE nudge but I work on it in small pieces.
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Small steps work.
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Yes to decluttering! If I’m ready to get some serious work done, I have to declutter the space first. Otherwise, I remain in a state of inactivity and confusion. I would love to get to the point of minimalism, but I am a long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long, long way from that.
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I know that I’m not all the way there by any stretch, but I am definitely working my way to less. Little by little.
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When you do get there, please come and help me! There are people who do this for a living. If I had the extra $$$, I’d pay them to do it for me! But I’d be paying serious bucks. Many, many, many years of loving music, books, writing, art, crafts, paper–not to mention teaching–to go through.
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Thank you for sharing this. You & your daughter are so beautiful!
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Thank you so much! I’ve accumulated so much over the years, and I’m trying to let some go bit by bit.
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I love this post so much. I lived for many years trying to look unbroken when I was very broken. Even after getting a lot of healing it is easy to slip back into trying to look more put together than we really are isn’t it? I love what you said about loving broken people even while we ourselves are broken. Yes to authenticity! This is the first time I’ve come across your blog (at Moments of Hope) and I love your content. Thank you, Patti
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I’m so happy that you stopped by. Your comment went to spam for some reason so I did not see it until today, and I am so glad I did. Thank you so much Patti! I’m learning to live with my broken and hoping that others accept me as I am while I am accepting them as they are.
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I’m going to pin this, because it’s so true on every level!
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Thank you so much Michele! I am learning to navigate little by little.
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I love that this post is so much deeper than decluttering stuff (which I need to do) but a call to full wholeness and to stop trying to look well when I am broken.
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Yes. Sometimes, we need to retreat and take some time to heal. Faking it until we make it is not always the answer.
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So you just had to get into my in one blog post. I guess it’s time to start decluttering so I can have more clarity.
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It’s amazing how much a de-clutter can do for the soul!!
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So very well written! Learning when to say Yes and when to say No is very important. It’s a lesson that I am still learning but I feel that I am doing well with. I love helping others and I feel as though I need to help everyone! I enjoyed this so much. Thank you!
LaDonna | Faith Family and Miracles
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Thanks for stopping by Ladonna! I love the way that helping others makes me feel expecting nothing in return. It truly helps put things in perspective.
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Love this list! Knowing when to say yes and when to say no is key!!
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Yes! I am either on one extreme or the other most times.
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I have been trying to declutter lately – donating some books, throwing stuff away and resisting the “But I might want that someday” thought. I like the 15 minutes a day idea. If I do a little bit at a time, maybe I won’t get overwhelmed and end up not getting much done. Glad to be visiting here today. 😊
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Yes!! I get so easily distracted and pulled in different directions that 15 minutes is about as much as I can do at a time. Hope it helps! Thanks for visiting!
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Brilliant blog post! Will Smith is one of my favourite actors, great quote. I always find de-cluttering a liberating experience, but too much can lead to overwhelm. Hope you enjoyed thanksgiving.
Dave 🙂
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So motivating!!! Thank you!!!
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