Love Yourself as Much as You Love Your Hair

“Love Yourself as much as you love your hair” (Source)

I am not a huge fan of my hair. I mean, I have some days when I walk outside, and I think to myself, “Well don’t I look good!” But this natural hair to curly hair journey has been a struggle for me.

I appreciated said struggle for the first time while waiting for my son to get his haircut at a salon last week. For a close to an hour, I watched as the ladies who arrived before me got relaxers, flat irons and fresh pixie cuts. At that moment, I did not miss it. I did not miss the straight hair process, the salon visits, the hours of my life to get my hair bone straight, the morning flat iron adventures.

Up until that point, however, I thought I did. I thought I envied the asymmetrical bobs and the straight weaves where I could actually leave my hair out without the worry of an “invisible” part. The salon smells brought me back almost immediately, and the thrill was long, long gone.

But even with that thought, I am still not a huge fan of my hair – not yet. I cannot love myself the way I love my hair yet because at times I still wish for her hair…or maybe hers…

At times, I look in the mirror, and I am not a huge fan of the reflection without faux locs, feed-ins, or perfectly stretched twist outs. I am still learning.

I get the whole self-love, self-care, self-acceptance angle. I am not here for a bunch of comments to tell me how beautiful I am. I am here because someone else needs to know that sometimes self-love, self-care, and self-acceptance are a work in progress.

Just. Like. Everything. Else.

It’s okay that you don’t wake up the day after your big chop and wonder why you waited so long.

I waited because I liked the girl before. I liked my long curly weaves. I was okay with my hair process. I understood it, and it understood me. So while I did the big chop for my daughter, the girl that stares at me in the mirror every day is still getting used to this new process, these new curls, and the way these new curls form a new frame around the same face.

I have less than zero desire to go back to the old, indicated by my recent salon experience, but I do not love my hair the way I should … yet.

I do love these shoulder length faux locs. I loved my feed in fulani braids before that and my goddess locs before that. I love the look of my stretched twist outs and sometimes even my non-stretched fro.

My natural hair is in the process of redefining me, and I am here for all of it.

But I cannot currently love, care for, and accept my life the way I do my hair, without doing my life a complete disservice.  As such, I will do the opposite.  I will begin to give my hair the love and acceptance that I give my life.

I will continue to smile at and motivate the girl in the mirror. I will compliment her curls.  She is beautiful.  I know she is.  I see her.  I love her.

Each day, I love her more and more.

My goal is to say the statement both ways. I love my hair as much as I love myself, and I love myself as much as I love my hair.

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What are some of your self-love, self-care, self-acceptance goals?

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