I look forward to date night. I never realized how excited I was every week for the few hours to get away – just me and my boo. Some weeks we go out to eat. Others we go window shopping or for a long walk nowhere. Next week we plan to enjoy an evening at the bookstore.
Today we discussed the pros and cons of life as a teacher – goals for me, disappointments for him, funny stories, and upcoming events. We enjoyed the company of one another. He laughed as I found two people I knew immediately upon sitting down at the restaurant. I waited as he took a call about the all-district results from his boss.
The entire experience is always comfortable – an experience of true peace and mostly quiet. My husband is one of the few people who really gets me.
I have spent weeks avoiding today – this blog, right now. I feel like as though in my prayers, God has asked me to talk about my marriage. He has revealed that my marriage is my ministry. Yet, I do not really know what to say.
I am not arrogant enough to believe I have this marriage all figured out nor naive enough not to recognize that some of my greatest victories came from the thicks of my toughest battles both now and before I said “I do.” If I am not careful, I can tiptoe around the heart of what others need to hear.
But today some events confirmed what I always knew: it is time. Time for what? I am not entirely sure, but here I am. And since I am here, here it goes.
I re-met my husband when I was 24-years old. We were engaged less than 9 months later. I get asked over and over, how did you meet? How did you find each other? How did you know he was the one?
Many will tell you that when you know you know. But in my experience, this is far from the truth. I questioned God every step of the way, even up to vowing “til death do us part.” I stood extremely aware of how permanently this decision would change my entire life, and I certainly did not know whether I felt up to the challenge.
As such, God and I constructed this list of how you know when you have found the one.
1. Listen carefully to your inner voice. The day we met, I was dating another guy, but I clearly heard God say, “You have already met your husband.” Excitedly, I ran through the list of potential prospects, including my current boyfriend to which God responded to stop harassing Him. I would never figure it out. So for each of you trying to figure out if you married the right one or if your current boyfriend/friend boy is worthwhile, I dare you to follow the direction of that still, small voice. He will never steer you astray, and whatever He says, take it and run.
2. He knows everything about you and marries you anyway. I remember telling a friend of mine that I could not see how my fiancé was doing it. I am hard to deal with. I come with baggage from past relationships, life experiences, and insecurities. I think the world revolves around me, and I get frustrated when the world does not. And he has seen it, and he still said, “I do.” He still entertains my nonsense. He still lends a sympathetic ear and an open heart even knowing many of my war wounds I inflicted myself.
3. Loving is easy. I never felt the tremendous pressure of, “where is this going?” Nor, “I wonder how many other females hear this same line.” I always felt safe. I always felt I could tell him anything. I always felt as though he was willing to protect me from the world. Whenever we were together, it was nice. I enjoyed his company. And I still do. We fuss like any other couple. We are human, but even now I enjoy being home. Laying on the couch with small talk about everything and nothing.
4. You never stop trying to impress each other. He still tells me how beautiful I am. I still love his passion for coaching. He asks me to elaborate on bits and pieces of stories he overheard me tell to my sister on the phone or touched on through my blog. I still try to learn more about keeping a home clean, cooking a delicious meal, and giving him all the reassurance he needs that I love him – forever. We are both well aware that people around us want desperately to see our marriage fail. I am not speaking of the “haters” who wish evil on everyone but more of the “lovers” but not in the traditional sense of the word. I speak more of the ladies and gentleman who feel like if they had us, they could have our marriage. A world full of scandal and social media has convinced them they have a chance. All of the blocked friend requests in the world do little to deter their determination. So each day I wake up and I choose him again. And I do as much as I can to ensure he chooses me. And each day, I watch carefully as he does the same.
5. You pray together. Our closest friends shared concerns about our how our faiths would blend. We both have backgrounds in denominations with deep roots in distinct traditions. Our worship styles greatly differ. What would our parents think? How would we raise our children? God smiled, and He said, “Let me work out the details. All I need from the two of you is prayer.” So we pray together, and we do our best to do devotions together. And we found a church that we both love attending. Of all of the ways that I knew he was the one, I know that this IS the one that matters most.
I am not here to tell anyone how to run your relationships. I am here simply to share how I #nailedit. You each have a part of your life that you gaze upon with a warm smile. You each have decision you made that makes you say, “I did good.” You each have a ministry God wants you to share, and 5 ways you know #nailedit.
In this month of gratefulness, cling tight to those areas of your life. #Nailedit areas are few and far between, and every chance you get say a prayer. Say a prayer you never neglect those moments when God smiled – that He knew you would #nailit.
What are some moments you knew you #nailedit your life?
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