I told my dad that I have never been a “big picture” person. I told him that my personality is not conducive to “big picture” – that I operate within a just-in-time framework. What can I do today to prevent catastrophe from hitting tomorrow?
I was wrong. After more thought, I realized I am a dreamer. I dream HUGE! I look at God, and I demand impossible. I reveal to only those closest to me how radical my dreams actually are, how radical my faith truly is. Few people would truly understand…
A little over a month ago, I blogged about branding oneself, without ever realized I had already developed one of my own. Then, a woman who I have not seen since high school tagged me in a picture of shirt that she insisted I purchase. I, of course, after seeing the shirt immediately purchased it.
At that moment, I realized that two hashtags that I have used since I developed a love for hashtags have permeated who I am and shaped how others view me – #blessed #thelife. I use them on almost every picture I post. Even when I do not use them, friends and followers add them in the comments section. Two small words (or should I say three?) have changed my world forever, and I am better as a result.
Lately, with all of my transitions coming to a head, the two phrases almost haunt me. Am I still #blessed? Am I still living #thelife? Is this what I am destined to do, who I am destined to be?…
Everything around me has changed. None of my closest girlfriends even live in my city, or work with me. It appears as though God whispered in each of their ears, one at a time, “Your time is up. I need for you to go. Your season with Brittany has ended.” This is not say that I have not met beautiful people. But God looked at me and whispered, “Brittany, your time is up. I need for you to go. Your season with them has ended.”
So in less than a year’s time, I changed jobs. I lost co-workers who I loved dearly. They were more than co-workers. They were friends.
My pastor was transferred, and then he married one of my closest friends…so she moved. They were more than church members. They were friends.
And then God said, I have one more requirement for you to achieve this dream you have asked of me. Eagerly, I conceded. And God spoke quietly, “I need you to walk away from the children – the ministry you love from the bottom of your heart, from your very core. I need you to close this chapter of the ministry that I asked you to begin. You’ve got to trust me. I cannot explain everything now, but I’ve got something for you.” So I cried, and I walked away from my team. But they were more than a children’s ministry team. They were my friends.
And I could NOT write. I was too devastated. How can you inspire others to live a life that is ordinarily extraordinary from this place? I mean, I like my new school. These people are nice, but these people are not my friends. They are my co-workers. These students drive me crazy. These athletes drive me crazy. I am not one for change, and I certainly was unimpressed these new “friends” God sent to replace the old ones.
Do not get me wrong. They could have done nothing differently. They embraced me as one of their own as soon as I set foot in the door. And for that, I am forever grateful.
I was not ready to move on.
So when God asked me to walk away from my one constant – from the final thread that tied me to the girl I had grown to know and love, I could not handle it. I fought Him, and attempted to rationalize with Him, and refused to speak to Him until He came back with another option.
And He smiled. And He let me throw my temper tantrum. And He said, “It’s time to go.”
And I walked away…to start a new chapter.
And I demanded that He tell me what was going on. I threw another temper tantrum. God looked at me the way I looked at my son, waited me out, and calmly stated, “I have something better for you. Remember the prayer you prayed…’Dear God. I want it all.'”
“And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:7.
I cannot say that I have ever experienced such peace in the midst of such uncertainty. As such, I will leave you with my takeaways.
- You are a mom. (Or a dad, or a cousin, or a sister, or a brother or a cousin…) Someone in your immediate family relies on you. They need a listening ear, or a shoulder to cry on, a helping hand, or just someone to hold.
- You are a wife. (Or a husband, or a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, or a co-worker, or a team member, or a best friend.) You are the the other half to someone’s whole. You complete someone’s circle of three. You fill someone’s empty spaces.
- You are #blessed. Embrace your blessing. Walk in your blessing. Live your blessing.
And that is what I like to call #thelife – #finalanswer.
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