Out of Control – The Aftershock

Project 333: Day 2

A friend of mine mentioned that as humans, we possess natural addictions. Everyone is addicted to something. We guise our addictions as personality traits, hobbies, and even passions. However, when we find ourselves in a rut – questioning, “is this really the final answer?” – we need to check our addictions.

I’ve begun to document the progress of this transformation process, and I must say, I love the current outcomes. My sister and I talk at length about which addictions to give up and which to keep. I continually think about the things that just need to go for now and the things that need to go forever. Most times I conclude that if I’ve made up in my mind not to do it, then whatever “it” is probably should not be an integral part of my life.

Consequently, I have developed a list which I entitled “End of the year resolutions.” I figure if we have new year’s resolutions, why not have things that we decide to implement right now?

1.  Less shopping; more giving.  As a recovering shopaholic, I’ve picked out 33 items that I will wear until the end of the year. My sister and I accepted the challenge: http://theproject333.com/getting-started/. For me, this small step will begin helping get my finances in order as the plan eliminates the need for clothing and accessory shopping. I began to give away, and then give away more, and then give away more.  I immediately felt uplifted. I spend less time catlouging my closet  to determine what I want to wear. I can actually hang all my clothes on the rail, fit all my shoes on the shelves, and open and close all of my clothing drawers and bins.  I feel great every morning when I walk out of the house because I picked pieces that really emphasize who I am.

2.  Less social media; more socializing.  As a recovering social media addict, I decided to limit my posts to one per week – indefinitely.  I think I’m on week two or three of this resolution, and the results have been amazing. I take more picture of the things that mean something to me. Since most people will never see my ever growing photo folders, my entire perspective has changed. Yes, yes I understand that it was never supposed to be about my viewers.  I admit I was caught up taking the photographs I thought my friends and followers would like to see. Now I document the moments that impact my current world – the moments that really matter.

For example, I have been asking my son about school. From other mothers of boys, I am learning that his one sentence random response about some trivial matter having nothing to do with anything he learned is quite normal. But as I began to socialize more with him and less with social media, he showed me more than I could have ever expected him to say. Had I not spent time with him, I would not have enjoyed witnessing his education firsthand.

His classroom equipped with sight words, nap mats, letters, numbers and, of course, students

3.  Less control; more trust. As a recovering perfectionist, I let go of those things I could not control. I gave my entire burden to God – all of it – and let Him figure it out. The results: life changing.

I quit my job and started a new one, and trust me, it took plenty of convincing because I thought I was in love with Belle Chasse (and maybe I was). Yet, with almost one semester under my belt in a completely new environment, the transition has been seamless as ever.

So, as I reflect on the major life decisions I have made over the past few months, I feel like I am living in a daze. I am waiting for the dust to settle and reality to kick me in the face. I have never maintained so little control and simultaneously such happiness, such peace, such calm. I finally concluded to myself that I must be in shock. The storms raged. Old habits died. Old lifestyles did not make it. And there was nothing I could do but watch. Absolutely all of it was completely in but completely out of my control because I trusted the path God set out for me. Turns out, with all the moving and shaking that God moved and shook my life right into place. And that is what makes my life ordinarily extraordinary.